A Rant About Chain Letters
GoshSPOONIT, people! Quit sending me these spoony chain letters! And the stupid jokes! And the "hAy doOdiSz!!!!! fWd tsIh 2 6666662 pPs OR yLUl haV BAd luK 4 245987364 yRs ehehehehehehhehehhhehehhhLOLOL!!!!!111"
Stop believing in these 4th grade myths! Next thing I know, you're going to start sending 4th grade humor to me!
::starts quoting lines from "Nookie" by Limp Bizkit::
Just leave me alone. (me alone... me alone... me alone...)
'N stuff! ::sobs::
And just to really get the point across, I'm going to make some nifty ASCII ART(R)(tm)(C)(tub) to let you all know how I feel about chain letters! No, it's not BLAUGH BOY:
Back to the ASCII FACE... It's Small Sad Sam!
--Serpent231, Proud Owner of http://i.am/231
PS: Ever wondered what would happen when a messed up guy like myself responds to a pointless chain letter to a bunch of people I don't even know? Well, my friends... it ain't pretty.
PPS: Not really a "PS" sentence, but more of a random outburst:
"Kiss I with his mouth salamander you mother umbrella!"
PPPS: And just to cap off this rant about nothing... It's an anti-chain letter
chain letter that shows all y'all how stupid these letters are when you look
back on them! Read on, McDuff! Tee hee!
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. it's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.You see, he is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no head, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Headless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out, Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.
So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of raw sewage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died. Their families were so upset that anyone even remotely related to them (even by marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of their miserable lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter
to all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.
Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt toplay. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. And so on and so forth...
So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends, relatives, neighbors,
family, enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brockers, doctors, and any other
acquaintances! It's for their own good! Thank you.
Here is a cute picture I drew.
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If It's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of raw sewage) just delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say,
DEATH TO CHAIN LETTERS!!