On a really distant island, Last Sunday B.C., There lived an esper named Skyler, Really different from you or me... He didn't have any work to do, Just another guy in a weird old suit He did a good job lying around the place But no-one really liked him so they shot him into spa-ace... We'll send him cheesy fanfics The worst we can find He'll have to sit and read them all While we're messing with his mind Now keep in mind, Skyler doesn't care when these fanfics begin or end, (la la la) Because he used his spare time To invite his esper friends ESPER ROLL CALL! OYNX! Iiiit's me! MIKOSI! *coughs* RAGNAROK! Hello. TERRAAAAATOOO! Hey-hey! So if you're wondering how he eats and sleeps And other useless facts (la la la) Repeat to yourself it's just an MST You should REALLY just relax... For Mystery Esper Theater 2000! *fancy guitar riff* -- >Title: Windows Skyler: A Bill Gates fanfic...? >Author: Aoë J. Lauren >Censor: G >Reviews: 1 >He carefully brushed his teeth, Mikosi: Eek! A HYGENIC Hanson. Skyler: That’s an oxymoron! Oynx: Hey! Don’t call me a moron! >making sure each and every tooth was Mikosi: --still there! *laughs* Oynx: I don’t get it. >polished and cleaned. Careful not to let a drop of water land Oynx: Hee hee, yeah, he barricaded the runway! Mikosi: You could kill a small animal with such a bad joke. >on the marble table. He carefully wet the washcloth, and wiped his face clean, careful to not let a drop land on the marble. Skyler: It's like he thinks the table will dissolve. >As he hung the washcloth, perfectly stretched out on the towel >rack, he made sure the bathroom was >left in the same condition it was found in. Skyler: ...after he cleaned up from a large vomiting scene that he thought would never end. >Perfect. Everything had to be >perfect Mikosi: And I thought I had no life! >and immaculate. >He stepped outside, onto the white tile. Stretching, he stood Skyler: I didn’t know that it was Hansonly possible. Mikosi: They weren’t kidding about the "fiction" part of fanfic, were they? >in front of the panel view window. The sunlight had spilled Oynx: WAAAAAAAHHHH!!! Mikosi: Now there’s no use crying over spilled sunlight. >over the tall pines, through the hills, All: --to Grandmother’s house we go! >and danced among the roofs of neighboring houses. Zac smiled, breathing in >the air-conditioned oxygen. Mikosi: THEY BREATHE THE SAME AIR I DO?! *faints into Oynx’s tiny arms, realizes her mistake, and then faints into Skyler’s* >The room was climate-controlled, like the rest of the house. Skyler: Heaters were never before talked about in such vivid detail. >There were >windows, but no sliding glass. There were >doors, but no knobs. Oynx: This guy doesn't get out much, does he? >Zac changed from his white, linen pajamas into a crisp, clean t-shirt and >jeans that were neatly folded in the top >dresser drawer like the rest of his clothes. He folded his pajamas, careful >to make the creases where they belonged. Skyler: (Zac) All right, two creases in Venezuela, fifty-three in China... >After sliding them into the dresser drawer, he made his bed. Hospital >corners, fluffed pillows, Oynx: ...padded walls... >the whole deal. Then he >sat down on the edge, careful not to wrinkle anything. Skyler: One leads a very hard life without skin cream. >He folded his hands in >his lap, and stared, but not seeing, out >the window. Mikosi: Kwa haa haa! He’s a staring zombie! Skyler: He IS a zombie, staring or not! >There was a small ding. Zac stood up, straight and rigid, Oynx and Skyler: That sounds like someone is describing... Mikosi: *flattens them with her mallet* Children, children... >as Mrs. Hanson walked in holding a breakfast tray. On it contained a glass >of orange juice, half a slice of a bagel with >cream cheese perfectly smeared on every morsel, and a bowl of Frosted Flakes >cereal in milk. Mrs. Hanson smiled at >Zac, placing the tray on the white desk. Skyler: Holy mother of cheese! He’s MARRIED?! Oynx: Kinda dissapointed, aren’t we? >"Good morning, Zachary. Breakfast is served. Lunch will be at noon exact, and >dinner will be served at six o'clock in >the evening." Skyler: I wonder if she informs him what will happen at night in the same fashion... *Mikosi punts him over a field goal* >Mrs. Hanson informed Zac, and headed out the door. >Zac simply nodded, devouring the food, Mikosi: Hey, its a human-like act! He’s evolving! >as Mrs. Hanson carefully closed the door behind her. Zac heard the click as >the door locked outside, as usual. >Locking him inside. In his own world. Nothing but a clean, white room. Skyler: This is getting REALLY scary. >The way the Hansons intended. He stared out the window, at the children >getting ready to cross the street, Oynx: --only to be hit by a speeding snail in the center of the street. >to head off to school. He stared out another window, seeing the men and >women driving off in cars to their work, to >their lives. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed, folding his hands Oynx: Ouch, I didn’t know there was Hand-Origami! >until lunch was served. This is his life. Mikosi: Loner, this is YOUR life... Oynx: This has to have been the dumbest, yet scariest, thing I have ever read in my whole life. -- Mystery Esper Theater 2000 is quickly and shamefully made by JeffreyATW (jeffreyatw@portalofevil.com) and Mikosi (flare0ngrl@aol.com) Flame us as much as you want... we'll just send you an MST of your flame back! >"The room was climate-controlled, like the rest of the house."