Life: The RPG v1.2 Welcome to Life: The RPG! I am Justin McNeil, the guy who wrote "The Match You Thought You'd Never See" thing. Well, this thing is going to be slapped together in just a couple days probably, so don't expect anything great (from ME?). Enjoy! UPDATES--- v1.0- started Life: The RPG on May 18, 1999 v1.1- updated Life: The RPG on May 18, 1999: added Weapon, Armor, Item, and Skill Lists and added paragraphs. v1.2- updated Life: The RPG on May 19, 1999: added paragraphs, Damage and Defense Guides, starting character stats, and Character Descriptions. Finished the IAQ. LIFE: THE RPG FAQ ----------------------- Q: What is this game about? A: It is a game about my life (somewhat, cause my name isn't Melvin). Q: What console is it going to be on? A: Playstation. This WILL NOT be a real game though...... Q: What're all the stats? A: Okay, here's the stats for each character. Every character will have different stats. The highest stat number is 20. Power- How strong a character is Defense- How tough a character is Intelligence- How smart a character is Charisma- How popular a character is Q: What is a rump ranger? A: Heck, my uncle says I'm one all the time. Then I remind him of the time when he first went into the boys bathroom and he washed his hands in the urinal. Q: Does your life suck? A: Mostly, yes. CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS--- Melvin- Melvin is a medium sized, brown haired and eyed intellectual. He is somewhat handsome, in his own way. He likes to write IAQ's for some unknown site called the Midgar Swamp (huh?). Michael- Michael is a tall fat kid who nobody but Melvin and Chris likes. He has freckles on his face and arms, and his family is poor. People constantly pick on him. Chris- Chris is a short pale blonde kid that likes to go fishing. He doesn't like staying inside and watching TV or something, and he loves wrestling. Kelly- She is a short pale blonde haired girl that LOVES to dance. She will dance with anyone, anytime, anywhere. Games Jowdey- He is a mysterious guy who always wears a mask...loves to play RPG's (like Melvin!), and e-mails some unknown kid named Mustin JcNeil... Kristin- Annoying little 8 year old pest with thin dirty blonde hair and skinny legs. She also has a large head. She is Melvin's little sister and will follow him wherever he goes (hmmm....does that remind anyone of THEIR little sister? OH YEAH, ME!). DAMAGE GUIDE--- None: no damage is caused Poor: 1-2 damage is caused Not much: 3-5 damage is caused Little bit: 6-8 damage is caused Average: 9-12 damage is caused Good: 13-15 damage is caused Great: 16-18 damage is caused Awesome: 19-21 damage is caused Deadly: 22 on up DEFENSE GUIDE--- None: no defense power Poor: adds 1 defense Not much: adds 2 defense Little bit: adds 3 defense Average: adds 4 defense Good: adds 5 defense Great: adds 6 defense Awesome: adds 7 defense Invunerable: cannot be hit except by deadly weapons, adds 8 defense STARTING CHARACTER STATS--- Name______Power______Defense______Intellegence______Charisma_ Melvin 10 14 18 9 Michael 12 12 14 5 Chris 11 15 15 6 Kelly 9 9 19 16 Games ??? ??? 18 ??? Kristin 2 8 11 4 WEAPONS--- Name________Cost________Damage______Found at_ CheapPencil n/a not much Marcus throws it at you KooshBall n/a little bit find it behind wall PlasticBat $1 average buy it at Toys-R-Us ARMOR--- Name________Cost________Defense Power______Found at_ Shirt n/a not much dresser Pants n/a not much dresser NikeShoes n/a none floor in your room Jacket $5 good store in mall ITEMS--- Name___________Cost_________Effect_______________Found at_ BurntEggs n/a none kitchen O.J. n/a restores 5 HP fridge Notebook n/a write stuff in it locker GreenNotebook n/a do High-Tech work shelf Coke 69c restores 10 HP gas station Milky Way 49c it tastes good gas station SunflowerSeeds 49c wakes sleeping person gas station SKILLS--- Name______________For__________Effect_ Kick Melvin 5 damage Punch Melvin 5 damage BhuddaBelly Michael 10 damage, Stun Push Chris 1 damage, Stun Trip Chris 2 damage, Stun Slap Kelly 7 damage, Stun ChokeBomb Games 15 damage VenomElbow Games 10 damage TalkaBunch Kristin Stun NonsenseTalk Kristin Confuse KittyStone Kristin 3 damage ____________________________________ You start the game in bed, and your name is Melvin. Your mom comes in and tells you to get up before you're late for school. So you better get out of bed, or else she'll call Big Bad Dad and he'll yell at you and then take your blanket off. When you finally get out of bed, go over to your dresser and examine it with the X button. You will find the Shirt and Pants. Equip them. This will raise your Defense Power a little bit. Now find your shoes on the floor and equip them. Then go to the kitchen where your mom has burned some eggs and she expects you to eat them. You can ALWAYS feed them to your dog, but you will get caught and will not recieve O.J. Finish your eggs and you can get some O.J. from the fridge. Keep it for later. Now go to the garage and get in the car. The screen goes black and then you are in an anime scene where you're getting driven to school. Oh joy! Go make a sploit sandwich and eat it and then come back. Now you should be in the back of the school. Walk towards the entrance and make sure to tuck in your shirt. When you go in, the principal will be sitting at a table to your right. Walk by him and then turn the corner and untuck your shirt. Only dorks tuck their shirts in at this school! (Tip: If you keep your shirt untucked, your Charisma will go up 1 point!). Anyways, go to your locker and get your books. You're so sleepy that you forget your combo, so here's your first mini game. Every time you here a click, that is a number the the combo. (Spoiler: The combo is 27-29-35). Now, get your Notebook, Math Book, and History Book. Now that you have your books, go to home base, which is Mr. Byrd's class. Sit down by either Big Boy Michael or Kelly. Michael is fat, but is a true friend. Kelly usually doesn't wake up very well in the mornings, and sometimes has PMS. Whoever you sit by will join your party. Now, the TV cuts on and Channel One news comes on. Here is another mini game. To make Mr. Byrd mad, make loud noises by pressing R1 and L1 back and forth. The louder the noise, the more mad he will become. If he becomes mad enough, he will turn off the terrible news show and everyone will rejoice. I tall kid named Brad will do this: Brad: "Hey man, thanks for doing that." Melvin: "Uh...sure." Brad: "Here's 50 cents, buy yourself and Ice Cream at lunch." Melvin: "Okay....thanks." Now go to Math class. You have to find it in 30 seconds or be late for class and recieve a BOF (Behavioral Offense Form). If you get 3 BOF's, you get a referral and they call your mom and dad. You should be able to get to class on time. Now sit down in any desk, preferably one by your friend Chris. If it is Monday (the day changes every game, and will start over when you have played all weekdays.), ask him if he watched wrestling last night. He will say "Yeah!" and join your party. He is kind of annoying, but take him anyways. Now Mrs. Scarborough will come in and tell everyone to hush and open their books. Open your book. Now, you have two choices. You can Pay Attention or Go To Sleep. Going to sleep passes the boring class faster, so pick that. Now it will cut to another anime cut scene, where you are dreaming about 3 legged purple spotted green horses eating ice cream. Then you wake up and find out you're late for History. Sneak into class (it's across the hall) and sit down. Now look at the board. This is another mini game. Press X button repeatedly and you will be able to focus on what you are supposed to do today. It will say "Discuss Lesson 3, pg. 231, Take test on Lesson 3, Do Review Sheet". Do all this and then start talking to Michael, who is sitting to your right. After a while, you will be hit in the head with a Cheap Pencil, which you can keep to write with. Equip it, you can hit people with it too. You find out that Marcus, who everyone calls Mullet, threw the pencil at you. After class, pick up your History Book and nail him in the head with it. He will fall over. Now Go to your locker and pull out your lunchbox and something to read. Now head down to the Gym, near the door where you came in. Ask Coach Brown if you have to dress out today, he will say "Yeah, stupid. Now get dressed and run a lap for that stupid question!". You secretly rejoice and get dressed and go get on the track. Now, you have a choice of running the lap, or just walking the track the rest of P.E.....I chose to walk the track the rest of PE. If you choose to run though, there is a neat mini game. You have to run the trak as fast as you can by pressing O for the right foot and square for the left leg. Push these buttons back and forth and you will get a good time. If you get a good time, your Charisma goes up by 1. Now you can go to the Weightroom, Play Basketball, or Sit Down. Don't choose Sit Down because if you do you miss out on a chance to gain some stats. If you go in the Weightroom, there is a mini game where you have to benchpress 50 lbs 10 times. Just press X as fast as you can and you should do it. If you do it you will get a Power point added to your stats. For every 5 extra benchpresses you do, you get an extra Power point added. The Basketball game is easier though, but only gives you one more Charisma if you do it right (you can get Charisma almosy anywhere). All you have to do is make 5 shots in 10 minutes and you get the Charisma point. If you make more than 5 shot in 10 minutes than you get 2 Charisma points (it is not 10 minutes in real time). When PE is done, get dressed back in normal clothes and go to 4th period. This is where you need something to read. If you didn't get something to read or study earlier, than you will get a BOF from Mrs. Kinard. Mrs. Kinard is half deaf though, so you can talk behind her back. You can usually read the comics in the newspaper to pass time, but this class is the MOST boring of the day. Your friend Josh in 4th period will constantly try to get you to make a fart noise with your armpit. He gets annoying. Eventually, when Mrs. Kinard has to go to the office (which happens every game), you have to fight Josh. Josh has several attacks, including Papercut, Slap, Ouchie!, and GroinKick. GroinKick is is the most devastating. Have Michael use his Bhudda Belly move a couple times and you should win. Josh only has about 25 hit points. He will attack as long as he isn't KOed. Whenever he hits, just use some OJ on the character that was hit to heal him. Now it's time for lunch, the second funnest part of the school day. Sit down in front of Kelly. She will talk to you and offer you her food, whcih you should accept. She will then join your party. She has a ferocious Slap attack which will hurt almost anyone. When you finish lunch, go buy an Ice Cream with the 50 cents Brad gave you earlier. It will make Melvin get yet another Charisma point. Now you're getting popular, so you don't want to spoil it. Next you should try to get a girlfriend. Turn around and lo and behold a fine girl is sitting there. Kim. Say "Hi" to her and she'll turn around and Smile, which is a deadly charm type move. You are now engrossed in her beauty, especially.....nevermind. Talk with her for the rest of lunch and she will give you a kiss, which raises your Charisma yet another point. Now you're almost the most popular boy in school. Go to your locker and get your Notebook and your Science Book. You do not need your English Book today because you are watching a movie in English. Go to Mr. Byrd's class, which is your homebase, for Science. Now is a really ood time to goof off and gain some Charisma. Obviously, the point of coming to school is to become popular (and getting an ejukashion). So goof off as much as you can in Science, and you should gain about 4 more Charisma. Now go to Honors English (Mrs. Still) and watch the anime cut scene movie. It's pretty cool, it's a part of the movie Willow. Now, you should go down the hall to High-Tech. Grab the green notebook labeled number 17 on the shelf. Then put your books up and go to the Bio-Tech module. Turn on the computer screen and get to work. This is yet another mini game. Write as fast as you can so you can be done with the work for that day. Press the X button really fast and you should have about 10 minutes (not in real time) to goof off. After the work, you can make Fart noises (X button), Burp noises (O button), Imitate the instructor (Triangle), or just go to sleep (Square button). The Fart and Burp noises are the coolest, and Imitating the instructor is very entertaining. Now, he will dismiss the class. Put the GreenNotebook back on the shelf and grab your books. Go to your locker again, and put all your books up, because today you got lucky and did not have homework. Now go to the Commons Area, in between the halls, and sit down for Break. Now you can get a really cool weapon, the Koosh Ball. You will see it behind the hole in the wall, where you can pick it up and hit people with it. It has a string attached to it, so you can never lose it. Now, Break is over and you get to go home! To avoid the crowds, just sit there for a while. This is good too, because if you sit long enough, a secret character will appear in front of you. He will say: "My name is Games Jowdey. When you get home, get on the Internet and e-mail me at 132tnepres@oohay.moc and I will join you." This obviously is good, because Games is one of the best characters in the game. Go home and do as he says. He will then fly out of the computer screen and join you. Stick him in your pocket (like all the other characters you have), and then ask your mom if you can go to the gas station. She'll then do this: "Why?" Say because I want to buy a Coke. "We have Coke here." Say I want a cold one. "Well, put ice in it." Say I'll buy Kristin a treat. "Okay, but keep an eye on her, Melvin." Say okay mom, thanks. "Your welcome." Say can I have some money. "Yes, but you'll pay me back." Say okay and take the 2 dollars she gives you. Now leave for the gas station. Now you must walk to the gas station down the road by dodging cars, which just happens to be another mini game. Use the direction pad to dodge cars. If you get run over, you die and the game is over. When you get to the gas station, outside will be three gang members of the "Road" Gang. They hang out on the road near the gas station. You must defet them before you can buy anything. One is a girl with rainbow colored hair. We'll call her "Rainbow". The other two guys have on black jackets, so we'll call them "Punk 1" and "Punk 2". Have Games use his ChokeBomb attack on Punk 1, who will run away crying. Then have Michael do his mighty BhuddaBelly attack to make Punk 2 run away. Now Confuse Rainbow with Kristin's NonsenseTalk move and then wipe her out with the KooshBall. Now you can go inside. Buy a Coke, Milky Way, and some SunflowerSeeds. SunflowerSeeds will come in handy, and so will the Coke. The Milky Way just tastes good, so eat it. Now walk out of the gas station and go to the ditch by your house. There you will fight 2 Giant Snakes, who have the VenomElbow attack. Games cannot be hurt by these creatures. Have Games use ChokeBomb on one to kill it. Attack the other with BhuddaBelly and your KooshBall. That should kill it. Now go back home and watch TV. At this point, you will sit on the couch and the game will cut to a anime scene, where you are watching Dragon Ball Z on Toonami. After this show (your personal favorite), you will recieve a call that says Chase is forcing kids in your neighborhood to smoke. You must defeat him before you go to bed. I suggest you go to the mall (ask Melvin's mom to take him there), and buy a Jacket for everyone in the party. This will raise their Defense because Chase is really strong and does massive damage on his attacks. Now go to Toys-R-Us across the street and buy some PlasticBats, you will need to equip one on everyone but Games so you can beat up Chase. Now, after you get all your new equipment on, go to Chase's house down the street from your house. Knock on his door and he will be surprised. Have Games use the ChokeBomb/VenomElbow combo which will inflict lots of damage. Then beat him with the PlasticBats. Or you may want to use Kristin's NonsenseTalk attack on him to Confuse him. You should be able to beat him. Now, you must mow the lawn to pay your mom back for buying all of your equipment. This is another mini game, where you have to mow the lawn as fast as you can. Just use the same controls as the Running the Lap mini game. Then she will thank you and you can take a shower. NO NUDITY THOUGH, YOU SICKO! This is the point of the game.....well.....where it's kinda BOOORRRIIINNNNNGGGG! You can do a couple mini games such as Wrestle with Kristin, Play Warcraft 2, or Work on Web Site. If it is Monday you can watch wrestling, which will cut to an anime scene where Val Venis is flirting with Debra. Then Melvin changes the channel and starts watching 2 old folks go at it (Flair and Hogan). He starts making fun of it, calling it RHW, or Retirement Home Wrestling. Now before you go to bed, you should brush your teeth. After this, go to bed and go to sleep. This ends the game! ________________________ I hope you had fun reading this, as I will make some more IAQ's in the future! Copyright of Justin McNeil Given to James Gowdey and Arkrist Enemia to use on their sites E-mail: bigogre@mailcity.com Coming Soon! "Life: In High School" - Melvin will continue his adventure in high school. He somehow found a way to pass middle school, and now he's playing with the big boys! "Life: In High School" will feature new characters, new weapons, new skills, giiiirllssss *drool*, and a new storyline! Coming to a store near you! (not really)