On a really distant island, Last Sunday B.C., There lived an esper named Skyler, Really different from you or me... He didn't have any work to do, Just another guy in a weird old suit He did a good job lying around the place But no-one really liked him so they shot him into spa-ace... We'll send him cheesy fanfics The worst we can find He'll have to sit and read them all While we're messing with his mind Now keep in mind, Skyler doesn't care when these fanfics begin or end, (la la la) Because he used his spare time To invite his esper friends ESPER ROLL CALL! OYNX! Iiiit's me! MIKOSI! *coughs* RAGNAROK! Hello. TERRAAAAATOOO! Hey-hey! So if you're wondering how he eats and sleeps And other useless facts (la la la) Repeat to yourself it's just an MST You should REALLY just relax... For Mystery Esper Theater 2000! *fancy guitar riff* -- >Link sat on the edge of lake hylia with Malon. Skyler: Suddenly, a dark figure emerged from the deep, devouring our heroes. They were never heard from again. Oynx: You're calling them heroes? >It was such a beautiful day that Malon had rolled her dress up Skyler: ...... Mikosi: Shut up, Skyler. Skyler: I wasn't saying anything! >and put her feet in the water. Link turned and looked at her smiling Mikosi: Like the little grinning, singing bimbo she is. >and >said" well what do you want to do now Mal." Skyler: Did he just answer his own question? Oynx: Well, I know what LINK wants to do... Mikosi: *Cough!!* *slaps oynx* >Soon Oynx: ...After half an hour of deep thought... Mikosi: (meditating) Ommmmm.... >she stood up pushed him in the water and said giggling "You could take a >bath" Skyler: (Malon) You haven't taken one in years, you lazy bum! Get off your sorry candy-- *Mikosi hits Skyler* >Suddenly the ground started Mikosi: Has it finished yet? >rumbling and a colum of fire Oynx: A colum of fire is what you have after eating a bucket of fried rice with chili. Skyler: Of course, the author meant "colon"... >burst forth and a man on a black Mikosi: --cow?? >horse came out he looked like Link but >more evil. Oynx: How could they tell he was more evil? Skyler: Did the horse come from an evil petting zoo? Mikosi: Did he ask for *puts small finger to the end of her mouth* ONE HUNDRED BEELEEON DOLLARS? >Dark link jumped off of his horse and attack Link. Skyler: D.LINK attack LINK cause 50 HP damage Oynx: Ahh... old-school RPG's... >By that time the Master Sword was already drawn. Mikosi: Who, um, drew this sword, is it anime style? Skyler: And who, may I ask, is carrying the master sword? Oynx: *draws a sword* I AM!!! BWA HA HA!!! *swings the sword around and accidentally lets go, a scream is heard in the distance* Oynx: Oops. >The battle swords clashed Oynx: ...as the spectator swords gasped in awe. >and sparks flew all over the place. Mikosi: They fell in love?!? I wonder how they-- *Skyler covers Mikosi's mouth* >Malon backed away from the battle >because of fear. Skyler: Of getting hit by a spark, no doubt... Mikosi: (Malon) Screw Link! I'm just afraid for my delicate dress! >Then Dark Link threw in a nasty kick that sent Link flying. Skyler: (singing) Look at me, way up high, suddenly, there am I, I'm... All: Flying! >As Malon stood on the shore horrified Dark Link charged Mikosi: (Cashier) Will that be Visa or MasterCard? >up his sword and >swung the ball of energy Oynx: It's the one... Mikosi: The only... Skyler: Ball of energy! Oynx: Seriously, if there was only one ball of energy, it would have to be borrowed a lot to be put in the millions of bad fanfics like this. >at Malon. It knocked her into the water and paralyzed her . Mikosi: Well, just use a f***ing Paralyze Heal. Oynx: Pokemon!! Yay! Skyler: Of course, no blood was shed... this is Nintendo, for gosh sakes! >Link would have to save her. As D. Link made good his escape All: Coward. >Link pulled Malon out of the water. She had passed out from the shock. >Link carried her all the way back to the castle and put here in her bed. >Zelda saw Link and asked," What are you doing to Lady Malon?" Skyler: (Link) I'm cheating on you! You're no good for me anymore! Mikosi: *slaps Skyler* I'm hotter then she is! Oynx: That can be put up for a debate! Mikosi: *yanks out a mallet* Die, evil bratwurst! *swings mallet and smacks Oynx* Home run! >"Trying to saver her life, Oynx: Savoring someone else's life? How, by stealing their soul? >Dark Link is back and he wants to kill my girlfriend." Skyler: Next week on Hyrule Soap Opera, the confusing love triangle between Link, Dark Link, and Epona! Oynx: Don't you mean Link, Malon and Zelda? Skyler: I mean what I say, Oynx. Mikosi: *wakes up* Huh... is it over? -- Mystery Esper Theater 2000 is quickly and shamefully made by JeffreyATW (jeffreyatw@portalofevil.com) and Mikosi (flare0ngrl@aol.com) Flame us as much as you want... we'll just send you an MST of your flame back! >"You could take a bath"