Stüssy's Guide to Life: The MST (Mystery Science Theatre)
Based on the TV Show "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" copyright Best Brains,
Jeffrey Faden: Oynx and Yaga --
James Gowdey: Stüssy --
Max Morgunov: Mossimo
Yaga: It's a great day today. What do you guys want to do?
Oynx: Let's go down to the beach!
Stüssy: Ok, sounds cool.
Mossimo: Don't we need a car to go anywhere?
Stüssy: Yeah. And a liscence, too.
Oynx: But Stüssy, you have a car and a liscence!
Stüssy: Well sorr----ee, I was just trying to add on the the PaRappa
Oynx: Ok, I forgive you.
Yaga: Well, what ARE we going to do, again? I'm really bored, and tired of
the same old donuts.
(PaRappa the Rapper and friends enter.)
PaRappa: What are YOU guys doing here? This is our donut shop!
Mossimo: Whoops! Looks like we're not needed around here anymore.
Oynx: Let's blow this popsicle stand!
Phat Donut owner: Hey! We don't sell popsicles!
Stüssy: All right, now that we've been thrown out of Phat Donut, what
are we going to do?
Oynx: I still say we go down to the beach.
Yaga: Are you crazy? The local beach is not only infested with sharks, it
was just burned down two days ago.
Stüssy: Great. What should we do?
Yaga: I know!
Oynx: I know!
Mossimo: I know!
Stüssy: I don't!
All: Let's make an MST!
Oynx: That's a good idea.
Yaga: Hurry up.
Mossimo: Yeah, and enough with the PaRappa references.
(The four enter the theatre)
Stüssy: Hey, did you know that there are many ways to spell theatre?
You can spell it t-h-e-a-t-r-e, t-h-e-a-t-e-r, and t-j-e-k-t-a-s-e-r.
Yaga: Um... for the good of all of us, let's just put that behind us. The
fanfic's starting, anyway.
(The screen starts to project the movie, and suddenly, the screen goes blank.
Yaga: What the!? What happened, and... where's Stüssy?
Stüssy: (calling from booth) Hey, you guys! I'm up here!
Yaga: What the dilly yo' are you doing up there?
Stüssy: I was just looking over the fic. God, it looks terrible.
Yaga: Oh, great.
Oynx: Look on the bright side, Yaga. It's a motherload for riffs.
(Stüssy comes back down to sit in the audience, and once again, the
Oynx: Do you mind if I riff on someone's name?
Yaga: Go right ahead.
Oynx: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! ACE HALL! What kind of a name is that?
Yaga: I knew I shouldn't have trusted you...
On Earth Ace Hall had finished Tidying
Oynx: What's Tidying?
Stüssy: Isn't it the name of a laundry detergent?
Yaga: No, that's Tide.
his bedroom and he turned on his computer
and decided to play a few games before he went to bed.
Stüssy: (Ace) ....Mmmmm.....Lara.....
A Few Hours Past
Oynx: I loved that book!
Mossimo: Never heard of it.
started to yawn but he shoke that feeling of being tired off and continued
Stüssy: His study habits must be the explanation for this fanfic.
then felt hungrey
Oynx: It's Hungary, not hungrey.
Yaga: How can you feel a country?
Oynx: Beats me.
and went to the kitchen for a quike midnight feast.
Oynx: How can you have a quick feast?
Stussy: Faster than a speeding dinner...
Mossimo: Able to eat tall breakfasts in a single gulp...
feast he decided it was time to go to sleep.
Stussy: The end.
Yaga: Don't even start.
and got into his
Stüssy: Doctor! We have a splicing of pygmys and Pajamas! Code blue!
He then logged out of the computer and switched it off then he went to
switch the plug socket off when suddenly electricity came out from the socket
and Struck Ace and he fell unconcious unknown to him that he he dematerialised
from his bedroom and was being transported to another dimension and a different
Stüssy: My mind's a blank after trying to understand that.
Yaga: There aren't even any commas!
Oynx: Maybe he was typing on a Microsoft Natural Keyboard.
The only thing he felt was the tingling and itching of the electric
Stüssy: They zap...
Oynx: They shock...
Mossimo: They zap, they zap, they shock.
Stüssy: Zap zap zap...
Oynx: Shock shock shock...
All: It's the Tingly and Itchy show!
Mossimo: Been there, done that.
Sonic and Tails
Stüssy: Self insertion AND Sonic? (sobs)
raced each other through to Forest paths but clearly Sonic was
way too fast for the fox
Stüssy: These run-on sentences are tiring ME out.
to keep with so Tails stopped and shouted
Stüssy: (Tails) Yodel-odel-ahee-hooo!
"Sonic can we
have a rest
Stüssy: (singing) Can I have a rest rest?
i`m shattered out".
Oynx: Clever use of punctuation there?."!
"Of cause big guy...."
Yaga: Of cause?
Oynx: (Joe Chin) Off course, off course! You guys can sit in the back.
Sonic was suddenly
interupted by a flash of blue energy and then somethink
Oynx: Yes, that is true. Some think.
Mossimo: Of course, no one in this fanfic does.
Stüssy: Iy zee we have zomethink of a run-on zentence, no?
fell onto the
Mossimo: Never heard of that kind of a file name before.
Stüssy: Hey, I've got an idea.
|# 3 1/2 Floppy (A) |
|= MS-DOS_6 (C) |
|= MS-DOS_6 (D) |
|@ CD ROM (E:) |
|File Name: ground | OK | |
|Save As Type: .sonic |Cancel| |
Yaga: That's...uh...great, Stüssy.
looked to see what it was and it appeared to be a Young Tiger
Oynx: what Is wrong With the Capitalization in This fanfic?
looked to have two tails.
Stüssy: Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho...
Yaga: I warned you! (socks Stüssy in the nose)
Mossimo: He looked for tails, but he couldn't find a cheap price on a pair.
"Tails run back to Knothole and tell Sally what has
just happened I be along shortly
Stüssy: (Sonic) Get yo' homey @$$ back ta da hood. I be jes' a minute,
with this guy Tell Bookshire about it aswel.
Stüssy: Did he mean as well or also?
Oynx: Maybe a swell or a well.
Yaga: Maybe that's an acronym.
Oynx: Hey. Wuz /\?
Stüssy: Nuthin....How'z ICQ?
Oynx: Kewl. BRB.
Oynx: AFK.......J/K. (pause)
Oynx and Stüssy: LOL
Tails Hurry"Tails flew off towards Knuthole
Stüssy: Nah, it's too easy.
Mossimo: (Cartman) I will kick you in the Knuts!
while Sonic picked the
Stüssy: --nose of the
Tiger in his arm and he ran torwards Knuthole.
Later that day Ace opened his eyes slowly and tried to recover his focus
Mossimo: (Ace) Dammit, my contacts are lost.
did he screamed out as he saw what he peering over him
Stüssy: Now, it's all right..These nice people are here to take you
to a... happier place...
and leapt out of bed he
was surround by animal people,
Oynx: Animal people. That just doesn't sound right.
Stüssy: Double Negatives: REVENGE. Coming this summer!
a blue hedgehog, a fox who seemed to have two
(Yaga clasps a hand over Stüssy's mouth)
a bunny which looked like half of her body was
Stüssy: A lot like the other half.
Mossimo: True, silicone can work wonders these days.
a duck dressed
in a doctors uniform,
Stüssy: Who's that Pokémon?
All: It's Psyduck!
Oynx: (Psyduck) Psyduck Psyduck!
a walrus and a female fox."Calm down your safe
Stüssy: (Ace) I can't, I forgot the combo.
harm you"the female Fox said."Who are you and where am I?" Ace Cried out."I`m
sally, this is Sonic The Hedgehog who found you, this two tailed young fox
Tails, this is Bunny, this is Rotor and this is Bookshire who`s been looking
after you.Your safe in Knuthole
Stüssy: --has been opened and looted.
Oynx: Once again with Knuthole!
Stüssy: I just can't stand how stupid this all sounds.
.Whats your name?"Sally Said."
Stüssy: My name is...
Stüssy: My name is...
Stüssy: My name is...
Ace Hall, I haven`t
heard of the Place"
Oynx: Hey, I heard you got two tickets to the Ace Hall.
Stüssy: Huh? Never heard of it.
Mossimo: Just imagine. A city called "Nuthole". The world would be a funnier
Oynx: It's Knothole.
Said Ace suddenly he felt he legs
Stüssy: Nah, it's too easy.
weak and he fell."we Better
get you back to bed"Bookshire said but while they carried him back to bed
looked at his arms
Stüssy: Aaiieee! What's that -- Oh, it's just my elbow.
and he felt somethings hanging out of his bottom
Mossimo: (Mr. Hankey) Howwwwwwwdy Ho!
(Stüssy opens his mouth)
Yaga: Don't go there, man.
a noticed he
was no longer bared skin he had
Mossimo: A spell-checker.
Yaga: That'll be the day.
Oynx: Hey pal, that's what ya get when ya don't shave.
Stüssy: Why would he shave? I think it's perfectly abnormal for a 3
year old author to grow fur.
"Can you get me a mirror please"Ace asked "a
mirror why"enquired Sally.""I need to look at myself!!".
(Stüssy opens his mouth again and Yaga closes it for him)
Sally handed him a
mirrir and Ace looked in to it with astonishment he was a Tiger!!!!!.
Stüssy: Gee whiz!!!!!!!!!!!.
Oynx: Oh my!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!...!!!!.
Mossimo: (Nike Advertisement) I am Tiger Woods.
happened to me why have i become a tiger which had two tails!!!!"
Oynx: He had two tails, but when he sat down and looked at himself, they
screamed."What do you mean.Are you saying that you wasn`t always a Tiger."
Stüssy: (sarcastically) No, I used to be a goat instead.
Oynx: Is he asking him or telling him?
Yaga: Well, he said "are"...
Oynx: I think that all "authors" that do that should be put in jail.
Mossimo: But then we wouldn't have anything to MST!
Bookshire."No I used to be human!!!"Ace cried out."Where are you from"asked
Sally."i`m From Essex
Stüssy: Must....resist....temptation... Mossimo: Gee, that's almost
as funny as "Nuthole". Oynx: It's Knothole!! KNOTHOLE, I TELL YOU!!! (Stussy
starts cracking up)
Oynx: Hey, anyone ever seen Revenge of the Nerds?
Yaga: YOU don't go there, either.
Oynx: That makes things even more confusing. He doesn't live in a third world
country that forbids the speaking of English. How can that be?
Yaga: Did you know that people start school a year later in England?
Oynx: Now that's so confusing, my head's starting to hurt.
Ace replied ."Wheres that can you tell us the
name of the planet?"Sally asked."Earth"AceReplied."What
Oynx: Ok, I'll just put the word " asked."Earth"AceReplied."What " through
the anagram generator... and it gives me "Straw hats lick red lard"! Hey,
Planet am I on? tell me
"you are on Mobius.Whats the last thing you remember when you
back on Earth?" asked Sally."I was turning off my computer and then I went
turn off the plug socket
Mossimo: Whenever I think of "plug socket", I think of this one guy in school.
Stüssy: The "Power" button might work better, Ace.
Oynx: Why the heck would he unplug the computer?
Stüssy: He seems like the kind of paranoid freak that believes that
he will be sucked into a cyber-parallel universe in the middle of the night.
Mossimo: The irony is that he was sucked in while he was unplugging the thing.
when a surge of electricity struck me
Stüssy: Suuuuuurrrrrgggge!!! (Stüssy leaps over a theatre seat
and pretends to gulp a soda)
i fell unconcious
and then i woke up here" replied Ace."I might have an idea on
Stüssy: --the reason why I continue to write this fanfic.
Stüssy: I can't think of any.
what has happened
.that electrical surge might have pushed you out of that dimension and into
Stüssy: And the moral of this story is...never use electricity again!
Oynx: Did he write down the voltage of the plug socket? I may want to try
that some day.
Said Rotor."Is their any way that I can be sent back home?"asked Ace.
Mossimo: Or better yet, die?
Stüssy: To Mobius, to Mobius, quick as a greased pig.
Oynx: Home again, home again, jiggity jig.
not sure sarah
Oynx: Now there's Sarah. What is her problem, trespassing into a fanfic like
Could Nicole predict the chances"asked rotor.
"Lets find Out "said Sally and she got out her portable computer and said
Stüssy: --rette is what Cid Highwind needs.
Stüssy: Either that's French, or our MSTing tore the word apart.
chances for a return trip for Ace to
Stüssy: The nut house.
Mossimo: Hey, that place isn't that bad, you guys. It's got a nice staff,
free food, and these cool padded walls...
his own dimension?".
Yaga: I see they want to get him out of there as soon as possible.
Stüssy: I don't blame 'em.
possiblilities for a succesasful dimension jump is 0
Oynx: The possibilities is endless.
subject would be killed due
to the one way theory"Nicole replied.
All: (chanting) Do it! Do it!
"One way theory?"Said Ace with i quizicle
look on hi sface.
Oynx: Hi, S-Face! How's it going?
Stüssy: Looks like the cat walked across the keyboard again.
Yaga: Yeah, I--j atw l;jfa h` 231 au?>} STOP IT, OYNX!
Oynx: Hey, who're you callin' a cat?
"The one way theory is that when someone jumps a dimension a is
Oynx: A is stuck their.
Stüssy: Stuck where?
Oynx: Over their.
Stüssy: Oh! Great. I was looking for A all over the place.
Yaga: You guys are starting to freak me out.
so it literaturely
Mossimo: Nicole must write lots of literature.
mean its a one way trip there is no going
back.I`m so sorry Ace it looks as if
Stüssy: --we'll have to kill you and end this fanfic.
Yaga: You wish..
you are stuck here with us."Sally said.A
tear drop ran down Aces face
Mossimo: Wussie. Oynx: Hey Mossimo, I forgot to tell you. Your pet atom died.
(Mossimo starts sobbing) Yaga: *sniff* It's...so....sad! (cackles)
Stüssy: Not for the parents, I bet.
and he thought about his parents how he would miss
Oynx: Back at home...
Yaga: (Mom) Hey-hey, he's finally GONE!
Stüssy: (Dad) Yahoo! All right!
they were gone he would never see them again.
Oynx: Aaaggh! Can't....go....on........must....get....commas....
"Don`t worry Ace you will get
used to being here but it can be dangerous at times"Tails said."Dangerous??"Ace
Stüssy: Yeah, our grammar can kill you.
Oynx: Erm, duh, nyum, zuh, ummmm, ehh...
Sally i think you should explain the situation to our new
Stüssy: Wake up in a bed, talk, and BANG! Friends for life.
and all of them except Sally said goodnight to Ace and
Mossimo: Well, that was pretty rude of Sally.
Sally explained about the war again dr Robotnic and the pastr
Oynx: Why would anyone want to fight against a pastor?
Mossimo: You're one letter short, Stüssy.
Stüssy: Wht d ou men?
was shocked at how just one being could cause so much pain and destruction
Stüssy: This guy couldn't write fanfics either, could he?
Mossimo: I thought Dr. Robotnik was so fat, he could easily cover up one
whole side of the planet.
Oynx: Ick, I hope that's not the side with Mt. Everest.
"I want to Join your cause
Oynx: There's that word "cause" again...
Mossimo: Just remember, Oynx, it's for a good cause.
Mossimo: Cause I said so.
Oynx: Oh. Of cause.
I want that tyrant gone if i`m to stay
here for the rest of my life"Ace said ."very well but you will have to
Stüssy: Lern to sppel.
Yaga: Uh, oh. I think Ace is rubbing off on you, Stüssy.
Stüssy: Mais non, mais non! Il ne rub pas! Je suis une bon homme d'epeler,
in few missions to become a full
Mossimo: --fledged, free, fortysomething...
Yaga: frisky, forceful, furry...
Oynx: foolish, finicky, feathery, fair--
Stüssy: --with a feverish fixation for fat fluffy flying ferrets.
Oynx: Freedom Fighter? And she was talking about an evil tyrant?
Stüssy: They're fighting FOR freedom, Oynx.
Oynx: Stop spoiling my riffs!
and you must endure a full
training routine"sally said."I understand when do I start?"
Oynx: He's asking her if he understands when he will start.
Asked Ace "Tomorrow.I
call on you at 10am and we will go few a few basics
Mossimo: ...how to feed a ferret.
Oynx: How to repair a tractor.
Yaga: How to bungee jump off a stair.
Stüssy: How to make instant water.
and then we will have a
mission briefing with the rest and we`ll take you on a
Stüssy: (Joe Chin) --cruise to destroy you all! Now, let me tell you
about this incident at the coffee shop the other day...
mission.Now get some
sleep you have a big day ahead of you"Sally said.Once Sally had left Ace
his eyes and went to sleep.
Stüssy: After playing Tomb Raider and eating a "midnight feast", of
Oynx: Ace didn't even turn off the lights or lie down!
Mossimo: Yeah, that would be funny, just watchin' him stand there with his
eyes closed, snoring...
Yaga: But isn't that what you do?
(Mossimo opens mouth and pauses)
It was 9:45am in the morning when Ace finally awoke and got up.He still couldn`t
get used to seeing himself in the mirror as a tiger he opened his mouth and
looked at his teeth they were razor sharp.
Stüssy: He must use Gilette. (Stüssy makes razor buzzing noises)
He noticed his two tails
Yaga: Ahem! Beautiful weather we have today, isn't it?
Oynx: You already said that today, Yaga.
(Yaga elbows Oynx in the shoulder)
why he had two.
Oynx: I thought that both his tails fell off.
Stüssy: Oh my God, he can respawn body parts!
He also admired his stripes that covered his body.
Oynx: Suddenly, all his stripes turned plaid.
Mossimo: That's not a stripe, that's a butt crack!
Yaga: Mossimo, ewwwww!
he now knew
what it was like to be a tiger.
Oynx: (Tony) It's Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!
Stüssy: Yeah, ALL tigers have two tails.
He realisewd he hadn`t any clothes
Stüssy: Nice Elmer Fudd impression, Ace.
Oynx: He was naked the whole time? Besides, where did his pajamas go during
the transition of universes?
so he went to
Oynx: Everybody needs a board of cubs in their room.
in the room and saw that it had a few jackets in there but no
trousers he then figured that it would be too hot to wear so many clothes
just put a jacket on.
Stüssy: (Ace) Gee, I'm a tiger who shouldn't wear any clothes, and there
are just jackets in here, but no pants. Now, if I wear any clothes, then
I'll be too hot, but if I don't, then I'll look stupid, even though I'm a
tiger who shouldn't wear clothes anyway. I'll just wear a jacket, then.
Yaga: There's logic at work.
Oynx: Isn't it a federal offense to go outside wearing no pants?
Yaga: Well, this is Happy Talking Animal Land. No one wears pants there.
Stüssy: I thought they were in Nuthole Village.
Mossimo: Knothole, sicko!
he then heard a knock at the door
Stüssy: Who's there?
Stüssy: Allotta wh--Wait a minute!
Oynx: Hee, hee, hee.
and said "Come in".The
door opened and sally entered and asked "Did you sleep okay?".
Yaga: I heard that we'll have light showers tomorrow.
"I slept like a
log!" Ace replied.
Oynx: Is that good or bad?
Yaga: So, he was made out of wood, full of sap, and infested with insects?
Oynx: Boy, how I'd like to sleep like a log.
Mossimo: But logs don't sleep. They get pooped, flushed and dissolved.
Oynx: Dissolved into a drinkable liquid.
"are you ready for your basic training then?"Sally asked.
Stüssy: (Mooselini) It's harder than you think it is.
ready as i ever be".
Stüssy: In Ace's case, that's not saying much.
Sally walked out followed by Ace.
Mossimo: But suddenly, Mobius' 45647223 suns shone alien light into our hero's
eyes, splicing his genes and turning him into a slug. With two tails, of
Sonic was outside waiting
"Ace you`ve met Sonic he be your trainer
Oynx: He be yo' trainer, foo'!
Stüssy: Funny that a guy from England writes in Ebonics.
as he`s the best warrior we have.
(All stifle laughs)
I`ll leave you two two
Oynx: It's not not not not not not not not nice to repeat words.
Mossimo: (Spice Girls) If you put two and two together...
it .Oh by the way the mission brief is 1300 hours so get
as much training done as possible"Sally said.
Stüssy: (Ace) Uh, isn't that a little too long?
With that Sally Walked off.
Oynx: Is Walked her last name?
hours up to the briefing was full of hard training
Stüssy: (Chop-Chop) The things I'll teach ya, is sure to beat ya, but
nevertheless you get a lesson from teacher.
Sonic Tought how to attack a
Stüssy: Beanie Baby-crazed mom.
Oynx: Yeah, right, even I couldn't do that.
Mossimo: (Seinfeld) Why do they call them SWATbots? Do they use a fly swatter?
(All pretend to laugh)
He then taught him how to hack
Oynx: Special two-tailed fox hairballs.
into Robotropolis`s computer.
Mossimo: The place where Dr. Robotnik lives.
Mossimo: Boy, it's like you've never played Sonic the Hedgehog before.
hours arrived Ace
Stüssy: --had fallen asleep 1299 hours ago.
Knew the basic`s.
Oynx: He knew the basic's what?
Ace and Sonic both Arrived at Sally`s Hut and
Stüssy: Sonic Taught, Sally Walked, Sonic Knocked, Ace Knew... are verbs
and the door and the door
Mossimo: And the door and the door and the door and the door and the door
and the door
opened and they both entered the
Hut.Sarah started to Speak
Oynx: There's that Sarah again.
Yaga: Maybe she's Sally's evil twin!
Mossimo: In Happy Talking Animal Land --
Mossimo: --anything can happen.
" Right Gang
Mossimo: As opposed to the Left Gang.
our target is the power centre
Stüssy: Centre? Now he's speaking French?
Oynx: Hey, I wouldn't be talking. You spell theatre like t-j-e-k-t-a-s-e-r.
Oynx: (singing) the ni--iight.
All: (singing) We've been walking in the - in the middle of the...
Robotropolis.Nicole Show Robotroplis Scematic.Suddenly a holographic
image of a city appeared.The powercentre is well guarded so you will have
extra vigilant.Since this is Ace`s first mission I want you look out for
Stüssy: Rabid sporks.
Yaga: Random Guy strikes again.
him...."She was then interupted by tails "Can I come also???".
Oynx: I hope he can????????.
In replie Sally
Said"Only if you promise to stay
along side Sonic at all times"."I Promise Aunt
Sal"Tails said."The meetings over good luck everybody."Everybody exited the
except Sonic, Ace and Sally.
Stüssy: Ooh, it's a threesome!
"How did the basic training go?"Sonic replied "He`s
Mossimo: --born killer.
Stussy: I loved that movie!
SWATBot destroyer and he`s great with computers".
Stüssy: Like he wouldn't be in a self-insertion fic.
Oynx: (Sally) The only problem is that he thinks the keyboard is a shiatsu
Yaga: It figures.
Oynx: (Ace) You do your shopping at The Sharper Image, I'll do mine at CompUSA.
"Well I hope it ghoes
Oynx: Isn't a ghoe a shoe with goo on it?
Stüssy: Oh my God, I think that qualifies as a pun.
Mossimo: OYNX MUST DIE!
well for you Ace."Sally Said."Thanks Sally"Sonic and Ace Exited the hut."Are
all ready?"Sonic asked and rest replied "Yes"."tails Stay close to my now
go charging off"Said sonic."Okay Sonic I won`t"tails replied.Rotor appeared
what looked like a carriage on wheels
Oynx: Like carriages don't usually have wheels?
and he said "I have our transportation
ready all it needs is the engine".
Mossimo: No wonder they got it with a 75% discount.
Oynx: Don't you guys love the way the quotation just flows through the story?
Mossimo, Stüssy and Yaga: No.
"Okay everybody got on board"Said sonic
Mossimo: Now Sonic's telling the story?
and ace and the others got on and Sonic
grabbed hold of the handles and said "hold on tight"and with that sonic started
to run as fast as he could
Stüssy: Okay, I can't *snrrkk* hold it back any longer...
(Stüssy laughs for 10 minutes straight)
Stüssy: Thank you for your patience.
Oynx: Is he done yet, Yaga?
Yaga: Yeah, you can unplug your ears now.
and Ace was ashtonished
Oynx: Ashe wash ashtonished? That'sh amashing!
at the speed he was going
at.They all knew the next stop would be
Stüssy: The gas station.
Oynx: Hey, that's not a sentence!
Stüssy: It's just a title.
Oynx: Really? They started a new fanfic? Great! Let's leave!
Stüssy: Correct me, it's a subtitle.
Oynx: Darn it.
Once the carriage stopped everfybody
Stüssy: (singing) Everfybody...
Stüssy: (singing) ...rockf your bfody!
disembarked and then Ace took in his
surroundings."Right lets get to the power centre guys"said Soonic
Oynx: Soonic, Tunic, Lunatic, Spoonic, Eunic--
Yaga: Okay, Oynx, you can stop there.
and then they
started to run torward the centre of robotropolis.Onnce they arrived at the
centre sonic pointed towards a building where at least 20 SWATBots were standing
guard and with that Sonic declaed "The Power centre is in that building
Oynx: Well, I'll declae something also, then. This fanfic is bad.
Stüssy: Well said, Oynx.
Oynx: Really? You think so?
trouble is we need to get past those SWATBots".Rotor then came up with an
Stüssy: (Rotor) I know! I gotta believe!
"Hey sonic what we need is an distraction .The only trouble is who will be
enough to put their life on the line so we can do our job!!!!"
Oynx: But I can't balance my life on a line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Ace thought about
it and then said "I will"."
Mossimo: (Sonic, thinking) This kid is natural born cannon fodder!
Stüssy: Do you take this so-called "author" to be your loyal decoy?
Mossimo: (Rotor) I do.
Oynx: Look at more of that clever punctuation. "." See, I can even make a
face out of it! "." :) :( :() >:) ^_^ :.& :D :P #( I'll add it to
Stüssy: "." Hey, that's fun! "."
Mossimo: How do you do that? <8OD
Stüssy: No, that's not really
oh no you won`t you won`t stand a chance against the
Oynx: He trained him to be a SWATbot fighting machine and now he's not letting
Stüssy: (Ace) You forgot this is a self-insertion. I'll win, of course.
"Hey don`t underestimate me Sonic I have a few tricks up my
sleeves and besides on my planet Tigers a well known for their
Stüssy: --lack of thought.
Oynx: I know what cunning is, but Prowess?
Mossimo: Isn't that a shampoo?
Don`t worry i get away from them"Ace said."very well but be careful
don`t let them
Stüssy: (Sonic) --kill you too fast.
capture you cus
Stüssy: (Ace) Okay, I'll cuss. Darn, heck, fork, shucks, spum, golly,
you know what will happen"Said sonic."Don`t worry
sonic i will be
Stüssy: (Ace) --dead before you can say "this fanfic sucks."
one step ahead of these metal freakazoids.
(Stüssy hums Freakazoid theme)
Oynx: But I will always be one step behind Mrs. Hugbees!
"With that Ace Ran
Stüssy: (PaRappa) Ahh...This is life!
SWATBot Army and Shouted "HEYMETAL MOUTHS OVER HERE COME AND GET ME"
Oynx: IWANT TO BE CLOBBERED WITH BAD CAPITALIZATION AND NO PUNCTUATION WHATSOEVER
the SWATBots started to move towards the Tiger and then he strted to ran
Yaga: Shoot. I lost count of how many grammar mistakes that was.
Stüssy: I stopped counting after 2310.
Oynx: I am go to says that this fanfic is sucks. Let's ran away from it.
they others saw that the build was now unguarded."heres our chance lets get
power down"sonic shouted.And they ran into the building.
Stüssy: Another thrilling action sequence by Ace Hall.
Oynx: And another sentence beginning with a conjunction by Ace Hall. Oops.
Ace Ran as fast as his legs would carry him
Mossimo: But unfortunately, that midnight feast proved to be a wonderful
source of constipation and so our hero stopped for a long time to attempt
to relieve himself.
but he turned a corner to face
dead end.He said "oh No i`m trapped" he turned round to see The SWATBots
Stüssy: --buying some strudels.
him.He then suddenly felt a
Stüssy: And we were so close, too!
to raise his arm and point his finger at
Stüssy: But it's RUDE to point!
Oynx: (points finger at screen) Ha! Look! I did it too!
Suddenly his hand and arm
Mossimo: Started to stretch out. Not only was he a tiger, he found out...
he was a Stretch Armstrong!
started to glow blue
Stüssy: (singing) Blue, blue, blue, green! Blue, blue, blue, red!
and then electricity
surged out of his arm and he destroyed five SWATBots at once.
Stüssy: While the rest beat him mercilessly.
Ashtonished at what
he had just done he continued to do it.
Meanwhile back in the powercentre Sonic and they others were
Oynx: --watching Ace's demise.
Stüssy: (Tails) This is really a lot of fun!
to the Powercore
Oynx: The Powercore has slots to put explosives in?
when Tails ran up and shouted "HEY LOOK UP AT THE MONITORS ITS
Stüssy: (Sonic) --A NERD!
Mossimo: (Sally) IT'S A SHAME!
Oynx: (Rotor) NO, IT'S EVEN WORSE!
Yaga: (All) IT'S--
ACE".they all turned to see one the monitor the tiger firing electricity
his arms at thre SWATBots destroying them one by one.
Stüssy: I really, REALLY hate self-insertion.
"my God where did he learn
to do that???"Rotor cried up
Oynx: (Rotor) Boo hoo hoo hoo????
Stüssy: Is crying up anything like throwing up?
Yaga: I don't even wanna think about that one.
and looked at Sonic."Don`t look at me I didn`t
teach him how to do that.Lets just get the explosives onto the core and lets
out of here!!"Sonic said.They continued to do so.
Oynx: Why do all the authors in self-insertion fanfics get all the special
Yaga: Egotisical scumbags.
Mean in the main control room in robotropolis Dr Robotnic
Mossimo: Dr. Robotnik was only mean in the main control room?
was watching the Tiger
with intense interest.
Oynx: So Dr. Robotnik is only mean in the main control room in Robotropolis?
Stüssy: Hey, it's Snively Whiplash!
Yaga: Where's Dudley Do-Right?
"Get me that Tiger he could be useful to
Stüssy: (Robotnik) I always needed another janitor in here.
"yes sir"snively replied and he left the room with five SWATBots.
Meanwhile Ace had just Destroyed the last of the Twenty SWATBots and he started
to run back to the powercenter.He ran as fast as he could he then saw the
exit the building and they saw him."Ace where the hell did you get that power
Stüssy: (Ace) Costco.
Oynx: He's telling him what to ask again.
"Explain it to you later i think we better get out of here before robotnic
for more re-enforcements!!!"replied Ace but it was too late 5 SWATBots
Oynx: Who ever hear of late SWATbots?
Stüssy: Who ever heard of SWATbots themselves?
Mossimo: I have!
Oynx and Stüssy: Shut up, Mossimo.
along side Snively and they started to fire their lasers at the freedom
Stüssy: (SWATBots) THIS is for 10 years of Full House!
they were particly aiming for Ace but the shots missed and then Aces Hands
Oynx: That would be a good name for a band.
glowed with electricity and he fired 5 shots at the SWATBots which destroyed
them but suudenly the electricity died out "what a time to run out of power"Ace
Stüssy: Finally, a run-on sentence. Hallejuiah.
Oynx: I was worried that Ace might have re-taken that English test.
"Lets get of here gang the powercentres`s going to blow in 10 seconds.
Oynx: Wow, he picked a good time to say that.
Mossimo: Simple people count with simple numbers.
Stussy: Hee hee hee! Blow.
Yaga: I brought a .45 Berreta along just in case this situation happens again.
all ran and when they well 100 metres
Stüssy: See what I mean?
away from the power centre it exploded in
a big way.
Oynx: I hate this fanfic in a big way.
Stüssy: Vivid descriptions brought to you by Roget's First Grade Thesaurus.
All the lights in the buildings went off.
Oynx: What, do you think that the lights would turn ON after the power center
Sonic and the others arrived
at their transport and they all except the sonic get o
Oynx: We all hangin' down in the Sonic Ghetto, homie!
Mossimo: Get O? Hepatitis O? But there's no such thing.
Oynx: Maybe there is on Mobius.
Stüssy: (AOL Voice) You've got o.
and Sonic grabs hold of
the handles and ran out of
Stüssy: --stupid things to say.
Oynx: You mean he's gone mute?
Robotropolis and towards Knuthole.
(Stussy tries to refrain from giggling) Oynx: Y'know, I'm beginning to believe
that "Knothole" is actually spelled like that.
Mossimo: This just in! Recent studies show that bad fanfics can rot your
Once they had arrived at Knuthole
Stussy: (exploding with laughter) HA HA HA HA HA! Knuthole!!! That's funny!!
(After seeing Yaga pulling the gun out, Stussy calms down.)
Sonic explained what happened to Sally
Stüssy: (Sonic) Uh, nothing happened to her. Just letting you guys know!
(Yaga hits Stüssy on the head)
Stüssy: What was that for? This time it wasn't dirty!
Yaga: Sure, Stüssy. I believe you.
then Sally asked "Ace where did you learn to do all those things that sonic
just described?"."I don`t know I just got a compulsion
Oynx: Whoa there, that's a big word for a three year old.
to point my finger at
Stüssy: (Ace) Begone! Begone!
and then electricity fired out of the finger."Ace replied."Can you show
the power?"Sally Asked."I`ll try" Said Ace and he pointed his finger up to
sky so not to hurt anybody
Stüssy: Except the ducks.
Oynx: (Bookshire) HEY!
but all that came out of it were a few sparks of
Mossimo: They fell to the ground and set Nuthole ablaze. Oynx: KNOTHOLE!!!
I must have spent all of my power up when I was
Stüssy: (Ace) --sucking my thumb.
SWATBots"Ace then said.Sally then grabbed her computer and said "Nicole Scan
Aces body and give us a power reading".
Stüssy: Forget power-walking. It's time for POWER READING!
Mossimo: So, with a quick move of her hand, Nicole opened the lid of the
scanner and shoved Ace's body inside and forcefully closed the lid. The noises
of the scanner were muffled by the crunching of bone.
"Power reading is very low but is slowly
getting higher"Nicole said .
Oynx: No machine would be dumb enough to put it that way.
Mossimo: But remember, they're in Happy Talking Animal Land.
"It looks as if you are recharging"Sally said she
then asked "Nicole Estimate total recharge
Stüssy: Hey, Total Recharge'd make a cool name for a movie.
timefor Ace"."Recharge time could
range from 12 hours to 24 hours it can not be predicted"
Stüssy: Er, you just did.
like you`ll have to show us tomorrow Ace.Anyway I`m glad you all made it
(All hiss and boo)
and that you succeeded in the mission"Sally said.
Stüssy: Hey, why's Ace getting all the credit?
Oynx: It's self-insertion power, remember?
"I better warn you Ace I
think Robotnic was after you as the last five SWATBots wre partically aiming
you so be on the watch out"Sonic said."Don`t worry if they try somethink
Oynx: SWATbots can think better than these airheads.
fire my electricity at them and fry their circuits!!".
Stüssy: (Homer) Mmm...fry...
Oynx: Isn't that what he did in the first place?
Yaga: And what if they come now?
Mossimo: Then, I guess that the whole Knuthole is screwed...
Oynx: No pun indended.
After the debriefing
Oynx: That was the debriefing? Stussy: (Sonic) Your mission, Ace, if you
choose to accept it, is to fry the SWATbots' circuits while we watch from
a monitor, sipping cocoa, far, far away.
Ace looked up and noticed that it was quite late in the
Stüssy: (Ace) Hey, Red Shoe Diaries is on!!
and he was getting tired so he headed back to his hut.When he got inside
he got changed into his pyjamas.
Stüssy: Doctor! You still haven't attended that case with the pygmy!
Oynx: So his pajamas DID come with him.
Stüssy: But how did he get naked?
(Mossimo hums X-Files theme)
He then heard a knock on the door and he said
"Come in" .The door open and
Stüssy: Egad! Girl Scouts!
Tails walked in."Hi Tails whats up?"Ace asked
Stüssy: (Jim Carrey) Your cholesterol!
Tails replied "Nothink
Stüssy: --ing was done in the writing of this fic.
Oynx: (Tails) I wasn't thinking. I just wandered in here.
Stüssy: Ok, I think you conveyed that joke enough.
just seeing how you are"."I`m doing fine.I`m a bit tired
now but I`m fine"Ace said and then Tails asked "Whats it like on Earth?"."Its
similar to hear
Stüssy and Oynx: (Ace) --but it has higher quality sound. HEY! That's
MY riff! No, MINE!
but it is a peaceful planet.Then we have had a few wars in our
time .There is another downside to my planet and that is
Yaga: The Starr Report.
Stüssy: Guys who leave the toilet seat up.
All: Oh, THAT.
than that Its a cool place."
Stüssy: (Ace) Because you can write stuff like this and get away with
(Mossimo sings the theme song of Chuck E. Cheese's)
Ace replied."You must miss the place badly
then"Tails said."A little but I have to live with it now that I can never
back"."Well I leave you now to get some
Pleasant dreams"Tails said."Thanks
Tails good night"
Stüssy: (Johnny Gomez) Dumb fight, bad write, good night!
Ace said and with that Tails left
Mossimo: Aww, man! They were just about to get personal.
and Ace turned off the light
and went to
Stüssy: The refrigerator for a "midnight feast".
Oynx: I still can't figure out why he used that term.
Oynx: How many last names does this guy have?
he was running as fast as he can trying to get away from the SWATBots
that were Chasing him.
All but Mossimo: DREEEEAM SEQUENCE!!
Mossimo: Hey, thanks for ruining it for me.
He then ran into a room were there were no doors except
the one he just ran through he turned to see the door close behind him he
it and tried to opon it but it was locked.He suddenly saw someone form in
of him and then he saw in astonishment his human self.
Oynx: (Ptak) I can't find myself!
The Human walked up to him
and said "why do you run away?Why do you run from yourdestiny?"
Mossimo: My destiny is to walk out of this theatre.
then the Human
disappeared to be replaced by two more and Ace was even more astonishished
see his parents.
Stüssy: (Mom) Don't listen to him!
Oynx: (Dad) It's okay if you don't come back!
"Why must you leave us?"Said his mother "why do you run
away?"Said his father.
Mossimo: (Ace) Well, you made me volunteer as an instructor for the "Senior
Special Olympics". Oynx: (Ace) If you stop making me wear pajamas, I'll come
Stüssy: Now, now. If he wants to say "mum", it's perfectly okay.
Oynx: No! It's not that, it's just that it's a cool word. Mum mum mum mum
it wasn`t my choice it was an accident"Ace cried
Mossimo: (Ace) It wasn't my fault that I tried the "plug socket" instead
of the On/Off switch!
Stüssy: It was that beer from the "midnight feast"! It dulled my senses!
but before he finished they disappeared.
Yaga: The plot thickens...
Stüssy: There's supposed to be a plot?!
The door behind him opened again and he ran out only to be met by more SWATBots
he then raised his finger
Yaga: --and flipped them off.
Stüssy: --and picked his nose.
and destroyed them in one shot.He started to run again
as fast as he could.....
Sonic was doing his midnight patrol rounds
Mossimo: Through the fridge.
Oynx: On every planet, someone has to have a midnight feast.
when he spotted a light in Aces hut
so he went to investigate.
Oynx: (singing) Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, Inspector Sonic, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
doo-doo! (Doo doo!)
When he looked through the window he saw
Stüssy: (Sonic) HOW DARE YOU READ IN BED!!
astonishment Ace Glowing
Mossimo: Another new character.
Stüssy: Sounds like a game show host.
with electricity running down his body.
Stüssy: (Sonic) No, no. Scissors in the drawer, PLUG in the socket!
Sonic ran and
got Bookshire and the others.
Stüssy: Uh, why is Bookshire so important all of a sudden?
Oynx: Because Ace fried him when he shot into the sky.
Ran they ran
Oynx: Go, dog, go!
into Aces hut they Heard Ace Saying in
Stüssy: (Ace) Mmm...more fries...mmm...
Yaga: Enough PaRappa references for you today.
Stüssy: (Chop-Chop) That's it for today!
Oynx: Mium mium mium mium! That's almost as fun as mum!
Stüssy: Oh, my! Will you look at that, it's a comma!
Mossimo: Must be a typo.
dad it wasn`t my choice it was an accident"."Whats happening
Bookshire why is he glowing"Sally asked.
Stüssy: (Bookshire) Could have something to do with the mattress being
"he seems to be having a
Yaga: No more, you hear me?
."Bookshire said ."Well we better snap him out of it" Sonic said.
Stüssy: YES! Finally!
Yaga: He didn't mean his neck, Stüssy.
Stüssy: Aw, Spum.
Ace Ran and ran for his life down the corridors in robotropolis he then found
him self in another room
Stüssy: You're running backwards, stupid!
and he was facing Robotnic."Ah here you are my boy just
in time to see your parents roboticized"Robotnic said in a evil sadistic
Stüssy: (Ace) All right, now this is MY kind of dream!
Oynx: How does Robotnik know that they are his parents?
Mossimo: It's a scheme, I tell you!
Ace looked on the monitor and saw in horror his parents in the Roboticizer
Stüssy: (Ace) Hot enough for ya? Heh, heh, heh.
"mum, Dad"Shouted Ace.He then heard them shout "ACE, ACE WAKE UP".....
"ACE WAKE UP" Shouted Sally then suddenly the glowing of Aces body died down
he opened his eyes and shouted
Stüssy: (Ace) Hey, you woke me up at the best part!
"What the...What Happened?".
Stüssy: He's got the shortest dream rememberance I've ever seen.
"It seemed you were
having a nightmare you were also glowing with electricity"Bookshire
Stüssy: Any more keen observations, Bookshire?
"What wre you dreaming about?"Asked Tails.
Mossimo: (Ace) Dreaming?? Darn, I was really happy about my mean old parents
Stüssy: Lucky little...
But the strangest thing is that I saw my Human self asking why I am
running away from my destiny and then my parents appeared and asked why i
Oynx: (Ace) I was then confronted by my English teacher, who slapped me
I said it was not my choice it was an accident then i saw Dr Robotnic
and then I saw my parents in a Roboticizer and then I woke up here" replied
Ace."Wow that was some
Stüssy: (Sally) --weird, wild stuff!
nightmare"Sonic said."Yea and it quite disturbing.
Mossimo: (Sonic) I'll get the tranquilizer gun to calm you right down.
Stüssy: You have no idea how disturbing it was to us.
Oynx: Amazing we've read this far.
glad My parents are safe and sound back on Earth"Ace said.
Stüssy: (Sonic) Ace, phone call. Your parents were just vaporized.
Oynx: Isn't that 2Pac's brother?
it was just a
Stüssy: Or was it? BWAHAHAHHAAA!!
Anyway we better leave you to get some sleep."With that everybody left
wished Ace a good night.Ace then closed his eyes and went to sleep this time
dreaming good dreams.
Stüssy: Roget's First Grade Thesaurus strikes again.
Oynx: (English teacher in Ace's dream) hi AcE ho'ws yA DOINGIng????!!!.
Yaga: (Ace in dream) Oh, I am feeling absolutely exquisite! I would like
to show you my utmost appreciation in your quest for educating the minds
Oynx: (English teacher in Ace's dream) oh YUR wlcum
Morning came and Ace was up at 10am.He felt the power in him and he knew
Stüssy: (Ace) Stupid......wool......carpets....
Oynx: I hate static.
So he went outside and went to investigate the rest of the
Stüssy: Hey, I'm not saying anything, I'm not saying anything...
Later he went to Sally`s hut and Sally gestured him in.
Stüssy: Ok, now I'm saying something.
"Hey Ace we going
to have a ceremony which we have every year at the Chaos Emerald cave we`re
celebrating Tails Birthday today in which he will receive his
Mossimo: --poison darts.
Stüssy: (Tails) These are really a lot of fun!
Oynx: Oh, I see. Special powers. I understand. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say
no more, say no more.
Would you like to come?"Asked Sally."Okay I`ll come but I have one
question whats a Chaos Emerald?"Ace asked."A Chaos Emerald is a powerful
Stüssy: --shiny thing that grants chaos, and for some reason, people
which gives the bearer of the emerald his powers."Sally replied .
Stüssy: Huh? What about his other birthdays? What'd he get then?
"Wow Tails must
be excited"Ace said."yes he is "Sally said .Later that day Ace met up with
Stüssy: (Ace) Lucky little @*^$! You get @^$#^'n #%@(% Emeralds, #*%@.
"happy birthday Tails". "Thanks Ace.you coming to the ceremony
Stüssy: (Ace) No, I've got a midnight feast to attend.
Stüssy: Okay, whatever.
/\ /\ ^-----^
/ \ / \ | 0 0 |
/ \/ | 0 / \_/ |
|\/\/\/\/\/\| \/ /__0
| \ | / /
| \__|_/ / \
\______________ /\ \
Yaga: You are terrible at ASCII.
Mossimo: Nicely said, Yaga. Hey Stüssy, get a load of this.
|*\ / * |
|* \ --------/ * |
| /----\ /---\ |
| |** |/** | |
| //** ||** -/
/ | /--------------//\
/// / | // /- /**|
/| |/| \ | \\ |/**|
/ | | \ | \--------/--/
/ | | \ \------\ /-//-
| // |/ | / --- \---///
|/ /\ || //| //-- \\
| \ \ |/ | //---------- \\
| | |/ | \ --
| | \ | \--/ --
| |\ \ | \ /- --
\ \\\ | |/ // --
\\ \ \ | /// --
\\ \ \\ ||- --
------ \ | | --
-----| -----| |
| |----| |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| --- \-------
------ \ \ / / -----
--- \ --- -- / \
| -\--- -- / \
| ---- --/ \
|------ -- /
Stüssy: Whoa, dude!
Oynx: Amateurs. You don't know a thing about Tails. Taste THIS.
=='''== AAAA A
A'SSSSSS 8AASSSSSSSS 'SSA
AASSSSSSS AASSSSSSSSS MA
AASSSSSS AASSS MM
AASSSSSSS8 =8 |- ==
TTTTTTTT ii lll
T TT T ii ll
TT aaa iii ll ssss
TT aa aa ii ll ss s
TT aa ii ll sss
TT aaaa ii ll sss
TT aa aa ii ll s ss
Stüssy: Um... yikes.
Yaga: Can we get back to the story now?
Oynx: (Ace) Is it for a good cause?
Stüssy: (Tails) No.
Oynx: (Ace) Then I absolutely will NOT come!
Yaga: Ok, ok. The guy spells "course" wrong. I understand.
i wouldn`t miss it for the world" Ace said.
Stüssy: (Ace) Unless it meant my computer time and feasting were delayed.
Yaga: You'll never forget about that "midnight feast", will you?
Later they all gathered in the cave where seven emeralds stood on a shelf
Oynx: Which, I bet, since they seem like an important item in the story,
will later be stolen by Robotnik.
Sally Stood on a platform and said "We are all gathered here to give Tails
powers.Tails would you please step forward".
Stüssy: (Tails) I do.
Tails then stepped forward but then
suddenly they were all intrtupted
Oynx: Intrtupted...not as good as "mium".
by the sound of laser fire outside.Then a
suddenly 3 SWATBots rushed into the cave
Oynx: I KNEW it! I'm psychic!
Stüssy: Geez, I wonder if they'll be able to handle these.
and fired their lasers at the Freedom
Fighters. "Take Cover!!!!" Ordered Sally everybody took cover and then suddenly
Ace spotted Tails Still standing
Stüssy: Hey, that must mean everybody else was killed!
and then spotted one of the SWATBots aim for
him "LOOK OUT TAILS"
Oynx: (Ace) OK THANKS IWILL LOOK OUT NOW
Ace cried out and he dived and pushed Tails out of the way
Mossimo: Super slow-mo action!
Stüssy: (Ace) Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo.............
Looooookkkkk ooooouuuuut Taaaaaiiiillllllsssss.....
and then he dodged the fire which then hit one of the Chaos emeralds.
Stüssy: Hey, even better!
The Chaos Emerald surged with electrical energy and then a beam shot out
emerald and hit Ace precisely in the back
Mossimo: Precisely, my good man. Would you care for a spot of--GOOD GOD!
HE'S BEEN STRIKEN BY THE BLOODY BEAM!
Yaga: Enough with the stereotypes, Mossimo.
and then theres a sudden flash of
light which blinded everybody.
Oynx: If they're blind, how could they know this?
When their sight was recovered they saw Ace lying
one the floor
Stüssy: (Ace) So, ya see, the beam didn't really hit me, got it? Heh,
Yaga: (Sally) Don't lie to the floor, Ace!
and just above him was floating a huge ball of
Stüssy: --yarn. The Samurai Pizza Cats are coming now!
.They all Watched as the Ball of energy struck out at the SWATBots which
destroyed them easily
Stüssy: What are these guys made of? Saran Wrap?
and Then the ball Shot out of the Cave.they all ran to Ace
who was unconscious."What happened?"Cried out Sally". "I don`t know Ace pushded
me out of the way of the Fire and when I looked around I saw one of the chaos
emeralds shot by a laser and then a beam was shot into Ace then there was
sort of explosion and we know the rest"Said Tails.
Stüssy: And coming round the home stretch, leading the pack is Dimension
Warp with Cheesy Fight Sequence With SWATBots hot on his heels, followed
by Blue Flash of Energy, and in last, Sonic and Tails Race! But wait! It's
Tails' Explanation making a comeback! What a day for run-ons!
"Bookshire hows Ace?"Asked
Sally."He`s still alive but in a coma.
Oynx: I thought self-insertion characters were invincible.
Stüssy: I bet he wrote this story while he was in a coma.
Theres no electrical energy in him and his
mind is showing no activity" Bookshire replied.
Stüssy: And this is new?
"The energy ball must be his mind
and energy when he was hit by that beam the body, mind and electrical energy
must have split with in him.
Stüssy: (Mind) We're leaving you, Ace!
Oynx: (Energy) Yeah, you just think you're too good for us!
His body still lives but if we want him to wake we
have to merge them back together again"Rotor said."Lets get him back to his
hut"Sally said with that they carried Aces
Yaga: You can keep saying that, Stüssy, but it ain't gonna happen.
out of the Cave and back to
Oynx: What about Tails' ceremony?
Mossimo: Hey, why'd Ace spell it "Knothole" in the beginning?
Stüssy: Maybe he typoed a typo.
Ace sat down on the floor and looked around and notice that he was in the
of an electrical
Yaga: Hey, what did I say to you 15 lines ago?
Stüssy: I can still wish, can't I?
storm."Where am I" Ace shouted. He then heard a replie from
Stüssy: (singing) --over the rainbow...
safe for the moment".
Oynx: Suddenly, the floor fell from under him and he landed in a pit of
Stussy: (Voice) Now you are somewhere unsafe.
"Who are you and where are you?" Asked
Ace and then in reply he heard
Stüssy: (Voice) I am Paul Bearer and you are not!
"I`m your Guide and I am everywhere".
Mossimo: (Ace) How fat can you be?
you guiding me too Heavon or Hell?".
Yaga: He has GOT to be kidding.
Oynx: Especially when he can't spell "Heaven" right.
Stüssy: Yeew, looks like "Heave on".
"You are not
Stüssy: (Voice) --worthy of Hell. You must go lower.
Dead Ace you are just in a
coma but you are notin your body you are in a ball of energy which is holding
all your electrical energy and mind." the voice replied."Are you the guardian
the Chaos Emeralds?" Asked Ace. "yes I am I`m with you in here"
Oynx: Hey, good guess, Ace!
replied."Wow"Ace said in amazement."Ace started to walk around he noticed
he was in great plain in a forest.
Stüssy: Double Negatives 3: Fresh Blood. Catch the sneak preview on
"Is what I`m seeing through the energy ball
can i control the energy ball?"asked Ace
Mossimo: That's funny.
Stussy: I have two energy balls.
Yaga: And if you don't shut up, you are going to lose both.
Stüssy: So we gots ta gets da loot, boys, tru the winda if ya gots da
skills packed wit ya, does ya got it?
the voice replied "No The energy
Ball will move to its on accord you are here just to watch".
Oynx: (Ace) Will there be a halftime show?
Meanwhile Sally and the rest of the freedom fighters was at Aces bedside."the
bodies life sign are getting weak we have to get that ball of energy back
him or we`re lose him" Bookshire said.
Yaga: Don't get your hopes up..
"How long do we have?" Asked Sally. "I
estimate around 24
Stüssy: --seconds. Please say seconds.
hours before the body dies"
Oynx: There they are, those anticipated numbers again!
Bookshire said."Sonic, Tails and
Rotor I`m giving you the responsibilitty of finding the ball of energy It
not be far away"Sally said
Stüssy: (Rotor) Uhhh... you mean the sun?
"I should point this out that it seemed that the
energy ball fed of the energy of the SWATBots and it got larger I think its
attracted towards Electricity.I know where its headed its probably going
Robotropolis as there is unlimited electricity there
Mossimo: I thought they knocked all the electricity out the previous day.
Oynx: Witness the wonders of insurance.
and it will suck it all up
Stüssy: That damn energy ball gonna be suckin' the life outta Robotropolis!
then it will get even more larger.
Stüssy: It's gonna got so even better large and been hecka funner, rights?
Oynx: Hey! I think that's a bit of foreshadowing!
Stüssy: No, really?
Oynx: Naw, just a guess.
Too large for us to handle"Rotor said. "We
better get the energy ball before it reaches robotropolis"Sonic said and
just about to head off when he was interupted "One word of warning don`t
the energy ball unless your wearing
Stüssy: (Bookshire) --metal. It makes a cooler explosion that way.
Oynx: Oh, PLEASE...
Stüssy: A huge energy ball's gonna be thwarted by one of those doctor's
office rubber gloves..
Mossimo: (goofy voice) Oh, whaddaya know! There's a pair of rubber gloves
Oynx: Wait a second... aren't Tails and Sonic already wearing rubber gloves?
it will electrocute you.Anyway
how will you get it?"Bookshire said ."I have an idea i`m going to make a
lightning rod its should be enough to contain the energy ball
Stüssy: (Sonic) --and kill us, too! Cool, huh?
"Sonic said and ran
out and came back with a large steel pole."Tails, Rotor are you ready?"Sonic
asked and both Tails and Rotor said "yes" And then Sonic grabed
Oynx: Is that the mispelling of grabbed or groped?
Yaga: Be reasonable, Oynx.
Oynx: Oh, ok.
Tails and Rotor
in his Hands and sped out towards Robotropolis.
"Hey wheres the ball going"Ace asked when he noticed the floor beneath him
Stüssy: The ball have started to move.
"The balls heading for the nearest power source and that would be
Robotropolis" the guardian replied.
Oynx: What, there's no electricity in Knothole?
"Why`s it going there for and why is it
interested in a power source?" Asked Ace.
Oynx: (RPG Expert) Because it puts your Strength up one point, duh. Stüssy:
I think Ace might need a Spelling Source.
"Hes going the to absorb more
electricity"The voice replied."Why does it need more electricity?".
"Its feeding for its survival and your survival".
Stüssy: Nobody can live without recharged batteries..
when he said that it came to
Ace that the ball was using up all of its energy flying about and if that
happens he would die.
Sonic arrived at robotropolis the first thing he noticed that the
Stüssy: --nearest Safeway had a sale on muffins.
power was back
on and then he said "the balls not here yet...."he was interupted when he
the energy ball fly past him fast.
Stüssy: In case Ace is interested, Roget's 2nd Grade Thesaurus is out
"Well he is now"
Yaga: (sarcastic) "he"? Balls are always so masculine.
(Stüssy smiles, then chuckles, then bursts out laughing. Yaga punches
him in the face.)
tails said and they ran after
Stüssy: (Tails) Ball.
Oynx: (Ball) Tails.
Stüssy: (Tails) Ball.
Oynx: (Ball) Tails.
Stüssy: (Tails) Ball.
Yaga: You have no idea how confusing that is to read.
and sonic said "Its heading for the power centre you two stay here i`m
Stüssy: (Chop-Chop) I need to go just as bad as you!
to move in front of it and get it to fly in to this lightning rod"Sonic
then sped up and ran into the path of the energy ball.The energy ball suddenly
stopped and floated and looked as if he was examining the rod
Oynx: (Energy Ball) Hmmmmm. That's one nice rod.
Stüssy: --but flew towards Sonic instead, instantly killing him.
Yaga: It's possible, but..
"Come on energy
ball fly into this rod like a good ball now"
Oynx: (Sonic) I'll give you a doggie treat!
Stüssy: There are good balls, and then there are... BAD BALLS.
the ball then suddenly fired a
electrical burst at sonic and Sonic dodged the burst.
Stüssy: Come ON. Even Sonic isn't as fast as the speed of light..
"okay you want to do it the
hard way"Sonic said he noticed a power socket in the wall next to him so
idea came to him and he put one of the ends of the rod in to the socket
(Stussy starts blushing)
turned it on the electricity surged through the rod and it was lucky Sonic
wearing rubber gloves.The Ball of energy suddenly noticed the powerful source
Stüssy: (Ball) It's got Red Bull!
coming from the rod and flew straight in to it.
"Whats Happening"Ace cried out."it seems your hedgehog friend has managed
capture the ball of energy in a sort of lightning rod".
Stüssy: (Voice) We don't have any explanation for it, though, so we'll
just leave it at that.
In Aces mind he thought
clever thinking sonic you used a plug socket and a lightning rod to capture
know what he`s doing he `s going to take me back to my body and merge me
with it"Ace then said.
Stüssy: Didn't your mom ever tell you never to merge with your own--
Oynx: You can stop there.
"Thats good news but I should warn you that when you
return to your body you won`t remember me or what has happened"The voice
Stüssy: (Ace) Whatever. Just get me outta here.
can live with that just as long as
Stüssy: (singing) --you love meee....
i am alive and well"
Mossimo: (Emerald Guardian) Well, there is a little glitch to the whole thing.
When you come out, you will be terribly mutilated.
"I`ve got it now lets get it back to Ace before time runs out"
Oynx: I'll count down... Ace Hall style. Ten, ten, ten, ten, ten....
Sonic said and
with that carrying the rod and both Tails and Rotor
Oynx: So, if he's carrying Tails and Rotor in each arm, that means the only
place left is...
Stüssy: Look for Sonic 4: Jaws of Steel in May!
he sped off towards
Knuthole.Once he arrived in Knuthole he ran into Aces hut.
Mossimo: Wow, for a second I thought it said that they ran into Ace's butt.
"Sonic you made it now
lets get the ball of energy back into Ace"Sally said
Mossimo: (Sally) Alright people, now will somebody hand me a scalpel?
and with that Sonic pointed
the rod at Ace
Yaga: Don't try this at home.
Stüssy: Unless you're the real Ace Hall. Heh, heh...
and the energy ball hit Ace
Mossimo: (Bookshire) Oops, we killed him.
Stüssy: That's okay. He's expendible.
and entered his body.
(Yaga glares at Stüssy)
Oynx: How did Sonic make the Energy Ball come out right then?
are going back to normal Mind activity at normal,
Stüssy: Low, in other words.
Electrical energy Low but is
now recharging"Bookshire said."Phew that was a close one"Bunny said.
"I have to go now Ace But I will always be with you in your heart"
Stüssy: Aww, how sweet... mushy... sentimental... spoony...
Mossimo: (Emerald Guardian) Well, the real reason I said that becase I'm
really just a bloodclot.
With that the
storm died down and the world around him faded to black and heis mind went
Stüssy: --back to normal.
Stüssy: Same thing.
and forgot all of what had happened.
Stüssy: Same thing.
Oynx: That explains it... he forgot everything and then wrote this fanfic.
"I thinks hes waking up"Bookshire said and everybody watched as Ace slowly
opened his eyes.""Whoa did anybody catch the number of the bus that hit me"Ace
Oynx: A--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Cheesy fanfic humor always cracks me up!
(The other three stare at him silently, and then he gives them a dirty look
"Welcome back Ace"Sally said."What happened I just pushed Tails
out of the way of the SWATBots fire and I remeber getting hit by somethink
then i woke up here" asked Ace."Its a long story Ace"Sonic said.
Stüssy: And it was painful to MST, too.
Stüssy: Rrrrggghh!!! I thought it was over!
The next day after Sonic explained what had happened Ace woke up and got
and exited the hut and walked around.Tails walked up aside Ace and Said "Thanks
for saving me Ace I owe you one
Stüssy: (Dr. Evil) --meeeeellion dollars!!
Oynx: There's not supposed to be speech in an epilogue.
"."You don`t owe me one we`re even it was you,
Rotor and Sonic who came to save my mind and electrical energy in
robotropolis"Ace said."but it was Sonic who came up with the Idea
Stüssy: (Tails) --of throwing you off--er, nothing, nothing!
"Tails Said. "I
know that but you went with him and helped him so your partly responsible
Stüssy: (Ace) Officer! That's the one who rescued me!
Oynx: (Tails) B-b-but, but--
Mossimo: (Officer) Yep. It's him all right. Seems he was involved with a
couple others as well.
Oynx: (Tails) No! We--
Stüssy: (Ace) It was a group saving! Take him away!
they both walked on and Ace knew That his adventures were just
This was the First Ace Hall Story.Many more soon.
Stüssy: He writes a crappy self insertion fanfic and now he's THREATENING
Yaga: Just goes to show you what those crazy Brits will do sometimes..
(The four walk out of the theatre)
Stüssy: (sniffing) Boy, that sure was dramatic. *sniff* Lots of sad
Oynx: What are you talking about?
Stüssy: James Cameron's Titanic.
Oynx: Oh yeah, you're right. (starts sniffing)
Yaga: Stop it, you guys.
Mossimo: That was one terrible fanfic, though.
Yaga: Yeah, I think that after reading this story I'm going to drop a grade
Oynx: Also, we must have used every line from PaRappa the Rapper in that
Stüssy: Anyway, what will we do now?
Oynx: Can we go to the beach?
Yaga: I already told you, the beach burned down!
Oynx: Let's go anyways. It's better than seeing a fanfic like that.
Mossimo: Good call, Oynx.
NOTE FROM JEFFREY: Hey-hey! Special surprise next time... (well, we'll try...
it'll be hard, but we'll try...) no PaRappa references whatsoever! Yahoo!
He then logged out of the computer and switched it off then he went to
switch the plug socket off when suddenly electricity came out from the socket
and Struck Ace and he fell unconcious unknown to him that he he dematerialised
from his bedroom and was being transported to another dimension and a different
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