Stüssy's Guide to Life: The MST (Mystery Science Theater)
Episode 3

Based on the TV Show "Mystery Science Theater 3000" copyright Best Brains, Inc. Characters created by Jeffrey Faden. Original Story "A Good FanFic" by Jesse. Actually, it was just on his website, but it didn't have a title and it seemed like he suggested it was his, so hey, what are we supposed to do?

Jeffrey Faden: Oynx and Yaga --
James Gowdey: Stüssy --
Max Morgunov: Mossimo --

Completed 4/21/99


(Stüssy's House, Stüssy and Oynx are huddled close to each other, each one holding a Game Boy)

Oynx: Ooh! I just caught a Rattata!
Stüssy: That's weak, Oynx, I've got a Machop.
Oynx: Well, I already saw 11 different kinds of Pokémon!
Stüssy: Uh, well... um... I've got an Onix!!! Ha Ha Haa!
Oynx: You're mean! Pickin' on my name...
Stüssy: Oynx, that really is a Pokémon.

(Yaga enters, arms folded)

Yaga: What are you two clowns doing?
Oynx: (over-enthusiastically) I JUST GOT A BUTTERFREE!!!! YAHOO! ALL RIGHT!
Yaga: A Slavenly?
Oynx: No!! A Butterfree! It's the coolest Pokémon of all!
Yaga: Oh, you're playing that babyish Porkémon game.
Stüssy: Heh heh... she said "pork"...
Yaga: Isn't that the game where you tell that little yellow thing to eat stuff?
Stüssy: You're so stupid, Yaga. That's a Pikachu.
Yaga: Stupid? I just finished Moby Dick for the eighth time and you're calling me stupid?
Stüssy and Oynx: (doubling over) HA HA HA HA!! SHE SAID DICK!!!

(Yaga leaves room, frustrated.)

(Mossimo enters the room)

Mossimo: Hey, guys, you wanna go to the Mystery Science Theater? I heard they're playing a Pokémon triple-feature fanfic called "A Good FanFic".
Oynx: Oooh! We gotta see it!
Stüssy: Will you run that name by me, again?
Oynx: Did it have the word "dick" in it?
Mossimo: Um...

(Yaga re-enters)

Yaga: Hey, are you guys gonna go, or what?
Mossimo: Don't waste any time. It's starting in 5 minutes.
Stüssy: Ha ha ha! 5! That's a really funny number! If you add 1 onto it and put a 9 at the end...
Mossimo: Feel my wrath! 5,5,5,5,5,5,5,5!!! Mwahahahaha!!!
(Stüssy starts cracking up)
Yaga: Stüssy, I swear, if you make any more dirty jokes, I will tear your small intestine out through your mouth, dip it in turpentine, and staple it to your forehead.
Stüssy: Oh, yeah, I remember what happened last time you did that...
Mossimo: This time, Yaga, make sure you use a nail gun instead of a flimsy stapler.

Mossimo: Okay, here we are... Quick. Get into the theater.

(An Ice Cream truck drives by)

Oynx: Oooh! Lemme at it!

(Mossimo grabs Oynx)

Mossimo: No, you don't.
Yaga: What's making Stüssy and Oynx act so childish?
Mossimo: They don't usually act like this?
Yaga: I think I know.

(Yaga smacks Stüssy and Oynx across the head)

Stüssy: Ow, what did you do that for? Hey, I feel, different.
Yaga: I think it was constant exposure to Game Boy LCD screen.
Mossimo: Yeah, I think I could tell by the low-resolution looks on their faces. Heh, heh...


Yaga: Um, let's enter the theater, shall we?

(the four enter the theater)

Stüssy: So, what are we doing here?
Yaga: Youu-u'll seeeee....


A Good FanFic

Stüssy: Hey, think we should sue for false advertising?
Oynx: You know, Stüssy, if you re-arrange the letters in "title"...
Stüssy: You get "le t-
(Yaga gives Stüssy a menacing look)
Stüssy: Uh...tilet...
Mossimo: Great recovery there.

by Jesse

Ash Catches a Machop:

Oynx: I really hope this guy's punctuation isn't as bad as ol' Ace Hall's...
(Mossimo shudders)

Ash, Misty and Brock were walking out of Pikachu Forest.

Mossimo: (in complete terror) A forest named after the demon yellow thingy?!
Oynx: (pulls out his Game Boy, turns it on) Hmm... I don't see that anywhere on the map...
Yaga: Boy, are you obsessed.

They saw a cave up ahead. The cave was called Chop-Chop Cave.

Stüssy: Good job, PaRappa! You can go on to the next cave now.
Mossimo: That would be a good name for a slaugterhouse.

"Strange name for a cave....", said Ash.

Stüssy: "Strange name for a fanfic....", said Stüssy.
Oynx: That's right, it's a strange name for a cave! It should be called the Fruites Dojo Cave!

The three of them walked inside the cave. "Hey, I can't see anything!, whined Ash.

Mossimo: Well why don't you cry about it?
Oynx: Uh oh, no ending quotation mark! I guess Ash will be telling us the rest of the story...
Mossimo: With all that spiky black hair all over his head? It would be impossible for me to bear.

"Charmeleon....I choose YOU!", he yelled.

Mossimo: (Charmeleon) No! Why me?! I have a family!! Don't make me go!!!
Stüssy: (confidently) I have a Charmeleon.
Oynx: Yeah? Well, um, I have an Ivysuar!
Stüssy: I have a Blastoise!
Oynx: No you don't!

Soon Charmeleon lit up the cave. As the light came, they saw some Machops hide. Ash was looking for something to catch. He HAD to catch up with Gary!

Oynx: (Pokémon theme song) Gotta catch up with Gary!
Yaga: Isn't it, like, illegal to use riffs from a show you're currently watching?

"Isn't it cute?", Misty squealed, as she

Oynx: --turned into a pig.

saw a Machop. "I'm gonna catch it! Pikachu....go!", Ash yelled!


"Pi-pika-chu! Pi-Pi-kaa!",

Oynx: (singing a commercial) Take him, shake him, bake him, eat him... Pokémon Pikachu!
Mossimo: Nooooooo! It's the yellow thingy from hell!!!
Stüssy: PikamakalakatickatakabreakaCHU!
Yaga: Close enough, Stüssy.
Oynx: (singing) --Shake like vanilla it's the finest of the flavors..

Pikachu said. Soon there was a battle going on.

(Oynx hums the Pokémon battle theme)
Stüssy: No! It's contagi--dum dee dum dum dum..

Ash yelled, "Pikachu....Thunderbolt!" Pikachu shot a thunderbolt at the Machop.

Oynx: But it missed him, shot at the wall of the cave, electrocuted the whole cave, burning everything inside to a crisp.
Stüssy: Mmm... Machop burgers...
Mossimo: Mmm... Ash prime rib...

It fell.


Ash was about to catch it, and suddenly the Machop jumped up and used Low Kick

Mossimo: --to ultimately bust Pikachu's squooshle, depriving it of social life.
Yaga: I hate see world without non-action verb and article.

to send Pikachu flying!

Oynx: I didn't know you could teach Pikachu FLY!


Mossimo: (Pikachu) ...kaaaachuuuu... Splat!
Oynx: "Sploit" would be better.
Stüssy: I'll give 231 dollars to anybody who can pronounce 2 "k"s.
Oynx: Keep the money, Stüssy.

hang on and get it with your Thundershock!", Ash screamed.

Oynx: No, he really squealed, and joined Misty as a pig.


Stüssy: I think the developers of Pokémon made Pikachu say his own name so they wouldn't have to work at writing the script.

Pikachu groaned as he got up. Before Pikachu could do anything, the Machop used its Karate Chop to

Mossimo: --drive its hand into Pikachu's fragile skull, cracking it and sending bits of bone and yellow flesh across the cave.

knock out Pikachu.

Mossimo: I think I like my description a tad bit better.
Oynx: (starts sniffling) But... he's so cute!

"That is one tough Machop...", grumbled Brock. "Yeah? I'm still going to get it! Pikachu, Return!

Stüssy: Coming this May... a tale of woe... a tale of epic proportions... starring the Demonic One himself... Pikachu: Return.
Yaga: How could Pikachu return when it's knocked out?

Go, Bulbasaur!", snapped

Oynx: Snap, Crackle, Pop!

Ash. Bulbasaur was ready.

Oynx: Wait, a sec... how could Ash have a Charmeleon AND a Bulbasaur?
Stüssy: Didn't you see episode 10 when...
Yaga: Mossimo, do you understand one word they're saying?
Mossimo: It's like they're speaking in a different language.

So was the Machop. "Maaa-chopp!", it screamed.

Oynx: But it squealed also, and turned into a Ma-pig.
Yaga: Repeating jokes is soooo General Slaughter...
Mossimo: Remember the "two an a half"?! Mwahahahahaha!!!

Ash yelled, "Bulbasaur, tangle it with your Vine Whip!"

Stüssy: Mmm...sounds tasty!
Oynx: (singing) I'm Mr. Vine Whip, the vinest guy in town...

Soon Bulbasaur was winning.

Stüssy: (Bulbasaur) But _I_ want some Vine Whip!
Yaga: Not whining, winning.

But, then, the Machop broke the vines with a karate chop.

Yaga: Is there any store where I could buy a Machop? Sounds like a good weed trimmer.
Mossimo: (Ad person) Not only that, but it also has a convinient microwave, clock and blender built in for all your Machop enjoyment!
Oynx: I think there's a store for Machops in Celadon City.
Yaga: Where the SPOONY is that?

Ash told Bulbasaur to come back with a Razor Leaf.

Stüssy: Gilette doesn't stand a chance...

Finally, it looked like Machop was defeated. It was! Ash threw a Pokeball at it! It looked like Ash finally caught a new Pokemon!

Stüssy: (Jesse) The period key is broken!!
Yaga: I throw baseballs, basketballs, footballs, and cannonballs at Stüssy, and he never goes inside them.
Mossimo: Maybe you should throw them harder and aim for the head.

"Look at that little BRAT!

Yaga: Hey, it's an acronym!
Stüssy: Baloney Rum and Tea?
Oynx: Big Rooster's After Tony?
Yaga: Book, Rind, and Tinker?
Mossimo: Bratwurst?

He's not paying attention to us, so we can steal his Pikachu",

Yaga: I hate people who are starved for attention...

giggled Jessie, of the pathetic Team Rocket.

Mossimo: Oooh!! This has author's opinion! That's bad for young minds!
Oynx: But that giggling turned into squealing, and--
Yaga: Can it.
Stüssy: Oh great, now it's a self-insertion fic.
Mossimo: This guy can't even spell his own name right.

"Yeah, and maybe you can get us some money for a big meal!", yapped Mewoth!

Stüssy: (Meowth) We'll have the Big Meal.
Oynx: (McDonalds Employee) Big Meal?
Stüssy: (Meowth) Well, it's like a happy meal, only...bigger.
Oynx: Oooh! Is that a hidden character? I've never heard of Mewoth!
Stüssy: I think it's Meowth.
Mossimo: Why do all these characters have such screwed up names? Are they, like, Hebrew or something?

Jessie smacked Mewoth hard in the face.

Stüssy: (Meowth) Hoo-hoo!
Oynx: It has to be the stomach, Stüssy.
Stüssy: Hey, that's animal abuse!
Oynx: No, that's Pokémon abuse. I think that's legal.
Yaga: How _do_ you pronounce "Mewoth" anyway?
Mossimo: Hey, I'm still trying to pronounce 2 k's in a row.
(Mossimo continues to splutter)

"B-But...we're HUNGRY!", whined James, the other member of Team Rocket.

Oynx: There's Meowth, there's Jessie, then there's the OTHER guy.

"All you think about is FOOD! We are going to CATCH A PIKACHU!", Jessie screamed.

Stüssy: Food, Pikachu, same thing.
Mossimo: He does look a bit like a tasty marshmallow.
Yaga: Yuck.
Oynx: Why are they trying so hard? (holds up his Game Boy, yells at the screen) I can trade you for a Meowth!

Team Rocket came up with a simple plan. They had a nice trap ready.

Oynx: As opposed to a mean, old nasty trap.

Ash was happy.

Stüssy: A simple plan...
Oynx: A nice trap...
Mossimo: A happy Ash...
Yaga: It's Pokémon G! Only on UPS!

Nothing could run HIS day.

Stüssy: Except for the fear of hitting puberty.
Mossimo: That's impossible.

"Waaaahhhhh!", Ash, Brock, and Misty

Oynx: --squealed.
Yaga: I thought I told you to can it.
Stüssy: I'd say "Wheeeeeee!", personally.

yelled as they fell in a trap. Team Rocket seemed to appear out of nowhere and say their stupid lines.

Stüssy: Even the characters are beginning to hate the script...
Yaga: What stupid lines?
Oynx: It goes something like this.
Stüssy: (Jessie) Prepare for dunder...
Oynx: (James) Multiply it by the square root of pi.
Stüssy: (Jessie) To protect our behinds from getting fired...
Oynx: (James) To unite the brain cells in our head to make us think for once...
Stüssy: (Jessie) To denounce the evils of Spam and Olestra...
Oynx: (James) To extend our reach to the sun so we burn our hands.
Stüssy: (Jessie) Jessie!
Oynx: (James) James!
Stüssy: (Jessie) Team Rocket's blasting off faster than a snail!
Oynx: (James) Surrender now, or we'll start to cry.
Stüssy: (Meowth) Meowth! I already am!

"Hand over your, Pikachu, kid.", said James. "No way! You're too dumb to get it!", whined Ash.

Mossimo: If you can't read that thingy's owner's manual, it'll explode.
Oynx: The three of them combined are more stupid than a 10-year-old that's not in school? Oh, boy.

"Did you just insult Team ROCKET?", Jessie yelled.

Oynx: But--
(Yaga stuffs his mouth with a whole box of popcorn)

Jessie yelled so loud, that about 5 Machops came. Not enough?

Stüssy: Authors don't let authors ask questions during a fanfic.
Mossimo: Oh my god. The movie asked me a question. End of the world. Aliens coming. Area 51 liberated.
Yaga: Oh, now you decided to join a cult?
Oynx: No, it's NOT enough. I want about 20 Raticates and Pidgeottos to come, too.

About 20 Raticates and Pidgeoddos came, too.

Oynx: God, finally. THANK you. Hey, wait a minute, though, those are Pidgeoddos, not Pidgeottos!
Yaga: I think it's an appropriate name. Wouldn't it translate to Odd Pidgeons?
Stüssy: Sounds Italian...
Yaga: Don't you start the stereotypes again!
Stüssy: Pee-je-ohdoes!
Oynx: Too late.

Soon, the Machops were chopping, the Raticates were chomping, and the

Stüssy: --readers were extremely bored.

Pidgeoddos were clawing and making gusts.

Stüssy: (Pidgeotto) Hey, this is as good as it gusts!
(Yaga creams Stüssy with a candy bar for the awful pun)

"Team Rocket is Blaaasting

Oynx: Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast it!

off AGAAAAIN!!", yelled the three members of

Mossimo: Hanson?
Oynx: The Beastie Boys?
Yaga: ZZ Top?
Stüssy: Huh, huh, she said "ZZ"...huh...
(Yaga pours soda on Stüssy's head)

Team Rocket. Soon, with the help of many Pidgeoddos, Ash and his friends were out of hole.

Stüssy: Yeah! No more concerts!
Oynx: So long, Courtney Love!
Mossimo: (Marylin Manson) That'll teach her!

They walked through the rest of the cave.

Mossimo: The new M*A*S*H action figures!

Ash saw a sign outside. It said:

Oynx: "i've Been Striken with ace Hall syndrom Again. --jesse."

"Route to Sea Town".

Mossimo: And you know who lives in "Sea Town"... "sea men"!!
(Stüssy cringes with laughter)
Oynx: (pulls out Game Boy again) Hmm... don't see Sea Town either.
Yaga: Let's hear it for generic names!

Written Below It Said: "Hey, Ash, I'm waiting for you in Sea Town! Wanna Fight? -Gary".

Yaga: Hey, that's vandalism of public property! We could sue Gary for grafitti!

Ash wanted to. "There he goes AGAIN...", said Misty and Brock. Next "episode"

Oynx: If you can call it an "episode"...

Ash will battle Gary!

Oynx: Only on pay-per-view!
Mossimo: "Celebrity Deathmatch" could get a kick out of this one.
Stüssy: Great, we can leave now...
Yaga: Not so fast. Didn't Mossimo tell you that it's a triple feature?
Stüssy: AWWW, MAN........

Chapter 2
"Ash Faces Gary"

Stüssy: --in a Falls-Count-Anywhere Match!
Yaga: I thought you got over that Stüssy 3:16 thing.

Ash was running like crazy

Mossimo: (Ash) They're all after me!! Men in white jackets after me!!
Oynx: But when he doesn't run like crazy, he walks like crazy.
Stüssy: (Chop-Chop) He needs to go, just as bad as you!

to get to Gary. He wanted to show his rival that HE was the best.

Stüssy: Hey, anybody remember HE-Man?
Mossimo: Ugh. Almost as bad as Conan The Adventurer..
Oynx: HE was best at what? Eating pies?
Stüssy: Painting things pink?
Yaga: Falling off cliffs?
Mossimo: Reciting the 50 States in Rhyme?
Stüssy: Hey, I can do that. Alabama and Alaska, Ariz--
(Yaga stuffs more popcorn in his mouth)

Misty yelled, "Ash, slow down! I can hardly keep up with you!" Ash knew that what Misty wants, Misty GETS.

(Oynx and Stüssy laugh)
Mossimo: (Misty) Oh, Ash, after you are done with the laundry, mow that lawn and after you're done with that, MAKE ME A PIE!!!!!!

They got to Sea Town. "Where's Gary? I gotta get to 'im! I GOTTA!", whined Ash.

Oynx: (Ash, powerfully) He owes me MONEY!
Oynx: You GOTTA do what?
Stüssy: (Ash) I GOTTA believe!

" patient.", said Brock. They went to the Pokemon Center to heal and talk. Soon, Gary showed up, "8:00, tommorow morning, LOSER.

Oynx: (Gary) Isn't that great, LOSER? That's when I usually wake up, LOSER! When do YOU wake up, LOSER?

Be there or be square

All: ...LOSER.


Stüssy: It's the return of ASCII FACE!!
Oynx: 0o0_ /            \
          | Oh, nooooo!! |

Ash stuttered, "S-S-ure....". Gary left with a smirk.

Oynx: (pulls out Game Boy) Hmm... I never head of a Smirk, either.
Yaga: Will you STOP that?

Ash wanted to get him back. He really wanted to. Finally,

Oynx: --he decided that he really, really, REALLY wanted to.

they were ready to

Stüssy: Rrrruuuummmbblllllllle!!

battle. They were going for an all-out,

Stüssy: No-DQ, Falls-Count-Anywhere...


Oynx: Feeding frenzy.
Yaga: Yodeling rehearsal.
Mossimo: Slap-fest.
Stüssy: Or--
(Yaga clasps a hand over Stüssy's mouth once again)
Mossimo: Thank you Yaga, for I think he was about to say "orgy"!
(Yaga sighs)

battle. "Hah!

Mossimo: Bwaha ha ha!
Yaga: Kya ha ha ha!
Oynx: Mwahahahahaaa!
Stüssy: Khhk khhk khhk!
(all look at Stüssy)
Stüssy: What?

Venusaur....go!!", said Gary.

Oynx: Hold it, it's already tomorrow morning?
Stüssy: Wow! A Venusaur! Amazing!
Oynx: Yeah, well, I have a Koffing!
Stüssy: No you don't!
Oynx: Yes I--
(Yaga smacks them both on the head)

"Then....go....Charmeleon!!", Ash yelled. Gary wasn't worried. He THOUGHT he could beat anything.

Stüssy: (Gary) I THINK I can, I THINK I can, I THINK I can...
Yaga: I can beat anything. I brought a baseball bat along just in case Stüssy starts making sex jokes again.

"Charmeleon...Ember!!!", Ash yelled. Gary used Razor Leaf.

Oynx: Wow, Gary can make Pokémon fighting moves? Weird!
Yaga: Is it just me, or are leaves a really poor choice of attack?
Stüssy: Maple power!

Gary thought that you had to evolve your Pokemon to win,

Oynx: How nice! Gary's thinking about me!

and a weaker fire pokemon would lose against a stronger grass one. He was wrong.

Stüssy: You have to evolve your stronger fire Pokémon to lose to a weaker grass Pokémon. Duh.
Oynx: Or something like that.

After Charmeleon stopped the leaves, he used Fire Spin, beating Venusaur.

Stüssy: Ratliff battles are epic, aren't they?

Gary used his Kadabra,

Mossimo: Abra Kadabra, Alakazam!
Oynx: I've got all three of those!
Stüssy: No you don't!
Mossimo: Those are names of Pokémon? Oh, boy, what is this world coming to?

and Ash chose Pikachu. But, Kadabra was winning!

Stüssy: Think they should rename Pikachu "Rocky"? We all know he's gonna win eventually.
Mossimo: A Pikachu named "Rocky", a lion named "Simba" and a baboon named "Happy Mr. Red Ass". Oh boy.

And thennn...."Prepare for trouble....yeah...yeah... they know the rest."

Oynx: Team Rocket would never say that!
Yaga: I think the case is that this author doesn't know "the rest".

Team Rocket came! "We've come to steal your Pokemon!

Stüssy: (Team Rocket) No money down!


Stüssy: Hello.
Oynx: Aww, poor little guy. He's confused.

said Jessie and James. They got out a giant net.

Oynx: How clever.

Bad move!

Stüssy: Bad Bird!
Oynx: Bad face!
Yaga: Bad boy!
Mossimo: Bad bad!

With all the powers of the Pokemon, the net was broken. All tweleve Pokemon "launched" Team Rocket.

Oynx: But then, TeamRocket.exe crashed.
Stüssy: Abort, retry, fail?

Ash and Gary were not happy. They argued over who won. Misty and Brock said, "Ughhhh..

Oynx: I was wondering what they were doing this whole time!
(Yaga brings out her baseball bat)
Mossimo: (Brock and Misty) Ughhhh!! Damn constipation! Ughh!! Another try?

they'll never learn..."

Stüssy: Great, the end of part two! Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Yaga: You sit back down.

Ash Heads Off to Cinnibar Island:

Oynx: Mmmm... cinnibar...
Stüssy: I think I've got some in my pocket.
Oynx: That's Cinn-A-Burst, Stüssy.

Ash was sad he didn't get to fight Gary long enough,

Mossimo: Ahhh, disgruntled mailmen and postal purges.

but for once he didn't whine.

Stüssy: Was that hell freezing over just now?
Yaga: You would know.
Oynx: Hey! A flying pig!

He was intent on getting more badges.

Stüssy: But he'd have to take Knot-Tying and Basket Weaving first.

He really was looking forward to getting that 7th badge,

Oynx: I've already got 4...
Stüssy: No you don't!
Oynx: Yuh-huh...

but he had been sidetracked.

Stüssy: (Ash) Must...finish...Metal Gear...Solid...

He needed a way to get to Cinnibar Island. Ash kept asking people.

Stüssy: (Random Bystander Guy) Try the boat, fathead.
Yaga: (Random Bystander Girl) Ever heard of a plane, nimrod?
Mossimo: (Random Bystander Guy) Use the chunnel, Ash...

He, Misty, and Brock heard a scream.

Stüssy: STELLA!!
Yaga: Eulilieaaaa!!
Oynx: Booooorinnngggg!!
Mossimo: Ajax!!
Oynx: Was this during, after, or before they were asking people?

It came from a large building. Ash said, "'s time for dectective Ash Ketchum to solve ANOTHER case."

Oynx: It's time for Ash's Ketchup to go on my hot dog!

Misty said, "And how about solving the case of who wrecked my BIKE?"

Oynx: Let's call Inspector Gadget!
Mossimo: Mulder and Scully are more experienced at these kinds of cases.

Ash turned red.

Stüssy: (Ash) Stupid...hormones...

He wrecked her bike a long time ago, when he first started his adventures. The building was very, very, large.

Oynx: We get the point.
Mossimo: Hold on, Oynx. I can't visualize it... was it very, very large or very, very, very large?

Ash heard another scream, and tried to "investigate".

(Stüssy coughs)

He found nothing, but eventually he

Oynx: --stopped investigating the ground, and--

found a girl, or as Brock would say, a BEAUTFIUL girl.

Oynx: Brock must've dropped out of elementary school.
Stüssy: (Brock) BUAFITUL!
Yaga: I think he means "Beautiful", guys.

She had blue hair and blue as,

Stüssy: Blue as? AHAHAAHAAH HAAHAA--
(Yaga hits Stüssy with the bat, Stüssy gets knocked out cold)
Oynx: Whoa. (whispers to Mossimo) P.M.S.
Mossimo: Brock likes girls with blue--
Yaga: *AHEM*
Oynx: Y'know, Yaga, this would be a lot more fun without you.

as do many of the girls the Brock likes.

Oynx: Didn't he star in the movie "Two Girls and a Guy"?

She was being threatened by a crazy guy with a Hitmonlee.

Yaga: Hitmon Lee? Is that a new kind of pants?
Mossimo: I know a guy named "Hitman Lee".

Brock wanted to beat the Hitmonlee.

Oynx: A little stating of the obvious...

Brock brought out his Vulpix.

Oynx: Hey Yaga, wanna see some pix of my Vul?

" you want to battle...with that little Vulpix? Hahahhahaahhaahhahahaha!"

Oynx, Mossimo, and Yaga: Hahahhahaahhaahhahahahahahahhahaahhaahhahahahahahahhahaahhaah *gasp* hahahahahahahhahaahhaahhahahahahahahhahaahhaahhahahaha!

Brock's face turned red. He had to save the girl. " spin!!!!!!!!!!!", he yelled.

Mossimo: One of the 231 signs you're reading an MST-able fic.
Oynx: What're you talking about!!!!!!!!!!

Soon, the Hitmonlee was unable to move, but it got out!

Yaga: Got out of what? The guy got out of his burnt Hitmon Lee pants?

It kicked the Vulpix

Oynx: (Cartman) --square in the nuts!

right into a wall! "Vulpix!!! Get it with Ember!!!", Brock yelled.

Oynx: Isn't an ember a part of the fire after the flames die?
Mossimo: (Brock) Vulpix! Throw that piece of burnt charcoal at him!


Oynx: --remains of the splattered Vulpix's--

flame hit the Hitmonlee, and the Hitmonlee fell over.

Mossimo: If he was hit by a flame, wouldn't he writhe in agony, take a last gasp of air, and lifelessly fall forward?
Yaga: You've got a sick mind, Mossimo.

The guy ran away,

Oynx: Leaving his Hitmonlee behind.

and they had saved the girl! She gave them a cool pokemon called a Lapras!

Yaga: Why do all these Pokémon have names that have to do with hips? First there's Hitmon Lee, then there's Lap Ras.

It would bring them to Cinnibar Island.

Oynx: Located next to Grandmother Brittle's Cottage.
Mossimo: I love Candyland!
Yaga: It WOULD bring them to Cinnibar Island, but instead, it brought them to the murky depths of Hades.
Mossimo: (Lapras) Mwahahahah!!!

That is where they are going right now!!

Oynx: Where, hell?
Yaga: Don't swear, Oynx. It may make Stüssy laugh, even though he's half dead.
Mossimo: And home is where we're going right now!!
Oynx: Okay!!
Yaga: Except Stüssy!!
(all scramble for the door)


(the three walk out of the theater)

Oynx: Yaga, I don't think it's right to leave Stüssy behind.
Yaga: It's all right, he'll be perfectly fine by the next time we MST.
Mossimo: So, I've learned a little about Pokémon. It sucks.
Yaga: Well put, Mossimo.
Oynx: I don't think I'm touching the game again.

(Oynx throws his Game Boy in the sewer)

Mossimo: Hey! I hate the show, but that doesn't mean I don't like the game! I was getting kinda attached to it!
Oynx: Just an example of what kind of impressions bad fanfics can put on society.
Yaga: Bad fanfics must stop.
Oynx: I guess we're here to help put an end to them.

(cheesy ending music plays as our "heroes" walk off into the sunset)

Oynx: (in the distance) What a BAEUFTIUL sunset!

Ash said, "'s time for dectective Ash Ketchum to solve ANOTHER case." Back to MSTings
Back to the Midgar Swamp