Where would a site like this be without funny quotes to read? Here's an archive of all the previous funny/stupid/odd/sploityquotes that have appeared here.

12/07/99 "My watch is HELLUVA fast!" - JeffreyAtW

12/12/99 "The wounded soldier from Karnack are resting in the barracks."- Castle guard, FF5

12/17/99 "I get around the way nature intended. In a car." - Meg Ryan, French Kiss

12/26/99 "Vegetarians don't steal!" - Anonymous

12/29/99 "and then i ate him." "yes? he was a tasty?" "oh. oh yes." from Fat Chicks in Party Hats

12/31/99 "Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699!" - "Weird" Al Yancovic

1/20/00 "Whatever you do, don't fall into a time warp!" - Quistis Trepe

1/29/00 "Ahh! Darn it! Y-You're just a big loser! I'm able to skip the rock as many times as I want! So there! Ha-Ha! Loser! Dork! Idiot! Your mom wears combat boots!" - Mr. Monkey, FF8

2/04/00 "TSUBABABABA!" - That Guy Who Sings For the Chu Chu Rocket Commercial

2/08/00 "I lost my dojo!" - Austin Powers meets Chop Chop Master Onion

3/01/00 "Shut up or I'll feed you to the Chinese!" - The Guy Who Plays Richard Nixon, Dick

3/03/00 "NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE!" - Christopher Robin Zimmerman

3/04/00 "Ich bin ein Berliner!" (Translation: "I am a donut!") - JFK

3/25/00 "Everybody SUCKS!" - Fred Durst

3/31/00 "Ha ha James, you suck." - JeffreyAtW after Serpent231 accidentally pokes his own eye

4/06/00 "Neeeeighcough!" - Jizmo the Wonder Horse

4/12/00 "Super Power Rocket Knights" - the perfect name for an anime

4/14/00 "Rydia... You were such a bitch to me... God, I'll miss you." - Edge, FF4 Translated

4/18/00 "It's not just fancy, it's fancy-shmancy!" - Arther, Glue

4/22/00 "If I find you stealing my underwear again...here's what's gonna happen..." ("Asshole!") - Dr. Drew

4/26/00 "Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?" "...I don't listen to Hip Hop!" - Chef and the General, South Park

4/30/00 "Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!" - fireman from Adam Sandler's Fatty McGee sketch

5/07/00 "TIMMAY!" - Timmy the Retarded Kid, South Park

5/10/00 "Nuthin', B... on the s**tter and takin' a crap." - "G," from "Bathroom Wazzup"

5/17/00 "I will kill you until you die." - Saddam Hussein, Hot Shots Part Deux

5/18/00 "I can't wait until I evolve into a grownup. Then I will have the "Humor" ability." - JeffreyAtW

5/20/00 "Hey! Don't piss off the dragon!" - Dende, Dragon Ball Z

5/21/00 "DON'T MAKE ME TAKE MY PANTS OFF!" - George Liquor, the George Liquor Fishing Show

5/29/00 "Eternal life, or your money back - guaranteed!" - Goblin Merchant, deceased

5/31/00 "So that's an enema... well I'll be darned." - Ted Johnson, Red Meat

6/03/00 "But besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the show?" - Steve's Captain

6/11/00 "WHO HERE LIKES COFFEE MACHINES?" - Tom Green at the MTV Movie Awards

6/15/00 "Now can you copy that?" "Loud 'n clear, G.I. Bro!" - Gene Okerlund and GI Bro of the WCW

7/03/00 "I'm a lamp!" - Wendy Comic, issue 25

7/15/00 "I, the lamp, would like to assure you all that this is NOT a xerox of the first panel of the last comic!" - Wendy Comic, issue 26


8/03/00 We're perfectionists striving to be imperfect... and we're doing a perfect job.

8/23/00 "Old man, if you give those dogs one more piece of my food, I'm gonna kick you 'till you're dead." - Moonstruck

9/04/00 "You need a f@#king shower. You f@#king reek like butt." - Random idiot at Pt. Reyes Summer Camp

9/05/00 "Hey, James, don't you suck? ...Told ya." - JeffreyAtW reassuring himself while yelling down the halls of Terra Linda High School

10/09/00 "A beet is not entirely devoid of phallic connotations." - Claude LeFever, Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins

10/16/00 "Hey, I know you. You DIRT!" - Mr. T, TandT

10/26/00 "Hello, this is Adolf Hitler. I'm out of the country right now, but I'll be happy to return your call as soon as I'm back in power. If Aryan, please leave your name and number after the beep." - Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins

10/28/00 "It is the white foam emmited from a rabbid based animal, looked it up in the dictionary, you should too, lol" "That's spume, you illiterate moron." - BoB The DEM()/|/ and JeffreyAtW on the word "spum"

11/18/00 "You bet! You're gonna kidnap the fat-ass, butt-ugly Queen Br-- What...what'm I sayin'!?" - Baku, FF9

11/26/00 "You (expletive)!!!" - Mint, Threads of Fate

11/28/00 "She's not a boat! She's the Pulsar-Inferno Typhoon Omega!" "Ohh, that's too long of a name. Let's see, P - In - T - O! Pinto!" - Rod and Mint, Threads of Fate

12/6/00 "The Red Terrinians where peaceful villagers with everyday problems. The Red Terrinians... however... where evil people that only wanted death for all!" - Unforgiven Quest Home Page

12/8/00 "Please put away that implement of destruction, Bobby." - Bobby's teacher, after crumpling up a wad of paper to throw

12/10/00 "cow goes moo." - Subliminal Message in Wendy Comic

12/18/00 "They misunderestimated me." - George W. Bush

12/19/00 "all you seem to care about is playing playstation dragonballz and talking to bobbie and a lot of other stuff" - A letter from Bob's friend's ex-girlfriend - the ONLY person ever to misspell "Bobby"!

12/27/00 "Dammit, Jim!" - Some Guy in Lindblum, FF9


12/30/00 "I'm not CONVINCED I'm a star! I AM!" - Duke in a star costume, Threads of Fate

12/31/00 *pookle* your *dookle* - Jeff, on ICQ with Serp

1/3/01 "chat u don't need to cpeel correctly" - NeOcYdArK

1/23/01 "Ho ho ho! I arrive!" - Quina, FF9

1/26/01 Your Mom is so dumb that she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm. - "Math" entry in Yourmom.com

1/28/01 "Don't be fooled. You will be." - JeffreyAtW from a few years ago

2/7/01 "Steve - You drank too much egg nog during a holiday office party and ended up doing barnyard animal impressions in your underwear. You lose one Charisma Point." - The Sims

2/19/01 "r u sayiong i'm a newbie? u r dumb. dumber than i originally thought anyway..." - vegetaandnappa, RM2K Messageboards

3/3/01 <Saddam> "Somebody set up us the bomb." <GWBush> "All your base are belong to us." - JeffreyAtW

3/25/01 in your opion whose super is the sorryist i beleve it wood be ruby hearts barrel drop i ean sumtimes u get it good but do the same thing twice and they fall out and talk about hard to hit you with come on they wood have to fall asleep and ext would be anachis is ghost lanch that ends in a big tomb drop if it hits it is great but slow with very little range -- "Tiberius" of the SRK.com forums.

4/19/01 "Hors D'Oeuvre" -- the name of JeffreyAtW's new stuffed Pikachu

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