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Final Fantasy Deathmatch Tournament 2000
-Loudspeaker: Lllllaaaadies and gentlemen, boys and girls children of all ages. DX proudly brings to... oops wrong cards....
Welcome one and all to the Final Fantasy Deathmatch Tournament 2000 !! Oh yes and before i forget to remind you, be on the look out for
any SECRET LINKS you might find on this page... Maybe it will give you a clue as to what is going on... Oh enough about that lets get to the killing!
-And here's the starting line up:
-Sephiroth_________\
-Tellah____________/
-Cecil_____________\
-Barret Wallace_____/
-Kefka_____________\
-Squall Lionheart_____/
-Rydia_____________\
-Rinoa Heartilly______/
-Mog_______________\
-Zell Dincht__________/
-Edea______________\
-Ultimecia___________/
-Cloud Stryfe________\
-Emerald Weapon____/
-Chocoboo__________\
-Bahamaut__________/
$$$ Round 1 $$$:
The battle begins cautiously with both competitors throwing some pretty heavy duty magic at each other. Sephiroth casts both Haste and M-Barrier and attacks with Fire 3.
Tellah throws up a Haste spell of his own and sets up a wall.
Sephiroth laughs, but then Tellah begins to collect all of his magical being to cast the ultimate spell........................METEO!!!!!!
Tellah throws everything he has into it, and lets fly with the spell.
A few cheesy 16-bit effects later, Sephiroth informs Tellah that Meteo is no longer the ultimate magic. Tellah is heartbroken, but has no time to recover as Sephiroth proceeds to yawn in boredom and crush the old man with his pinkie.
Tellah then proceeds to crumple into a pile of dust.
By a landslide: Sephiroth advances.
!!! Round 2 !!!:
Barret: How can your cheap Super NES graphics hope to compete with the mighty Playstation? (score 1 one for Barret)
Cecil: My incredibly epic and moving storyline more than makes up for it (score 1 Cecil)
Barret: Yeah, I had a Super Nes once; I traded that pile of **** for my gun arm here. (score 1 Barret)
Cecil: At least I still got both my hands. You can't even spank yourself with the right hand (big score, 2 for cecil)
Barret: Why you little!
A bloody and brutal fight then breaks out and in the end Cecil wins by a cheap shot to the back while Barret is reloading his gun.
By a nose: Cecil advances.
^^^ Round 3 ^^^:
Kefka ends up spending the first part of the match laughing madly and insanely at Squall, as Squall looks on with a puzzled expression.
Kefka then proceeds to push ancient statues around in order to unlock ancient powers. More odd looks from Squall.
Kefka then decides to finally cast something, but unfortunately it's too late.
Too bad Kefka.
Squall uses Renzokuken and since this cheesy last boss only has a mere 50,000 hp, he dies quickly.
Slightly confused about the whole thing: Squall advances.
&&& Round 4 &&&:
This ends up being one of the quicker matches in the tournament.
Rinoa summons Angelo. Angelo bites Rydia.
Rydia summons Leviathan. Leviathan buries Rinoa underneath the sea.
End of story.
With help from the land of summoned monsters: Rydia advances.
((( Round 5 ))):
Round begins.
Zell backflips.
Mog does a little dance.
Zell backflips.
Mog does a little dance.
Zell backflips.
Mog does a little dance.
Zell backflips.
Mog does a little dance.
Zell backflips.
Mog does a little dance.
Zell backflips....oops! He just accidentally landed on Mog!
Oh no! The poor bugger just broke his legs!
Zell plays the good guy and helps him to the hospital.
Winning the only non-lethal match: Zell advances.
=== Round 6 ===
OOPs!!!
Sorry, guys. This round has unfortunately already been decided buy the folks at Square.
Edea'a mind is no match for Ultimecia's mind control.
Ultimecia possesses Edea and forces her to play Final Fantasy Mystic Quest until her head explodes.
The pre-determined winner: Ultimecia advances.
+++ Round 7 +++:
(Cloud vs. The Emerald Weapon)
Emerald Weapon: I AM INVINCIBLE. NOTHING CAN DESTROY ME
Cloud: Except for 10 Knights of the Round summons back to back.
Emerald Weapon: BUT THAT'S SO BORING. DON'T YOU WANT TO TRY AND KILL ME THE FAIR WAY?
Cloud: Nope. (Uses Knights of the Round 10 times)
Emerald Weapon: DARN.
The victory that shouldn't have been: Cloud advances.
&&& Round 8 &&&:
(Chocoboo vs. Bahamaunt)
In what is sure to be the biggest upset in the tournament, Bahamaunt fails to defeat the ever lovable Chocoboo!
Bahaumut: Good-bye little bird.
Chocoboo: No wait! Don't you think I'm just *too* cute?
Bahaumut: Yes. It sickens me.
Chocoboo: But you know you can breed me...
Bahaumut: I have better things to do.
Chocoboo: But you'll never find the Knights of the Round materia and get the perfect game unless you breed me.
Bahaumut: Why do I care about having a perfect game? It's just a waste of time.
Chocoboo: No, you're all wrong! You're the king of the dragons! If anyone should have a perfect game it's you!
Bahaumut: Hmmmm.... you really think?
Chocoboo: Of course!
Bahaumut: Alright then silly bird, lets find you a lady friend. We're gonna do some breeding.
And so Bahaumut breeds...
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
And he breeds....
Bahaumut: ARGHHHHHH!!!! I haven't even gotten a Green Chocoboo yet!!! ARGHHH!!!!
(Bahaumut gets frustrated and accidentally Mega-Flares himself, burning his body to a crisp.)
Chocoboo: Hmmm... maybe I should have told him that I'm a ''poor'' chocoboo. Oh well.
Darn bird: Chocoboo advances.
Loudspeaker: And that wraps up the preliminaries with only 8 of the original competitors remaining to continue the tournament. Here's what the line up looks like:
- Sephiroth, Master of the Ancients *VS.* Cecil, Paladin of Earth
- Squall, SeeD commander *VS.* Rydia, master caller
- Ultimecia, Time Sorceress *VS.* Zell Dincht, martial arts master
- Cloud Stryfe, Elite mercenary *VS.* The Chocoboo
-Loudspeaker: Let the carnage continue commence!
QUARTER FINAL MATCH #1
(Sephiroth VS. Cecil):
-Sephiroth: Cecil, before we begin, there's something you should know.
-Cecil: What?
-Sephiroth: You are not really human. You were created in a lab 5 years ago by Dr. Hojo. You are nothing more than my clone.
-Cecil: Oh no! Really?
-Sephiroth: No. Not really. (Surprise attack and first blood)
-Cecil: Arghh!
-Distant voice: Cecil! Use the crystal! You must reveal his true form!
(Cecil raises the crystal high into the air with a triumphant look on his face.)
(Nothing happens.)
-Sephiroth: .....? What's your problem chump?
-Cecil: Oh, darn. It worked last time. Oh well. (Slash- minimal damage.)
-Sephiroth: Puny mortal. Jenova is forever! You cannot hurt me.
(Massive counter attack by Sephiroth- minimal damage)
-Sephiroth: Huh? What happened? Why didn't I hurt you?)
-Cecil: Adamant Armor baby! All that 32-bit power and you don't even have a suit of super armor like me. Bet you're wishing there was a Pink Puff or two around here, huh?
-Sephiroth (with growing frustration): No matter. Eat dust.
(Uses ''Super Nova'')
-Cecil: Oh god no! The horror! Someone help me!!!
And so begins the animation for Sephiroth's Supernova.
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And it goes on...
And then, many, many, many, many years later the animation for the unbelievably long spell finally ends.
But wait! Oh no!
It's been too long! Cecil has died of old age while waiting for the battle to resume! Poor thing!
-Sephiroth: Foolish humans. None of you have the lifespan to withstand my Supernova. Why not just surrender now?
With a cheap trick: Sephiroth advances.
QUARTER FINAL MATCH #2:
(Squall Lionheart VS. Rydia)
-Squall: You little tramp, you killed my girlfriend. Prepare to pay.
-Rydia: Wait to you see what I do to you loverboy, You're going down. Titan, come help me!
(Summons Titan)
-Squall: Ha ha! You'll need more than a Titan to defeat me foolish caller!
-Rydia: Oh really? Well then I'll just get Leviathan to come assist me as well.
-Titan: Grunt, grunt.
(Summons Leviathan)
-Squall: Huh? Wait a minute! You can't summon two monsters at once! That's against the rules!
-Rydia: Oh really? Then I better summon a couple more, hadn't I?
(Summons Asura and Bahamut)
-Squall: No way! This is very uncool Rydia! WTF!? How are you calling out more than one Guardian Force at a time?
-Rydia: What's a guardian force? These are ''summoned monsters''. Anyway, there's a difference polygon boy, and it's about be your doom.
(Summons Sylph and Odin)
-Squall: Stop! I demand you stop this insanity! How can this be? How?
-Rydia: Ha ha ha ha! You see, Squall, I've come into possession of a powerful ancient artifact called a ''Game Genie''. With it I can break any rule I want to. Ha ha ha!
-Squall: That's not fair! You can't use a game genie in the tournament! It ruins everything!
-Rydia: I don't remember agreeing not to use game enhancement devices. And besides, it's irrelevant because you're about to die.
...Heh heh, I had to use all my code slots for the multi-summon effect, but it's well worth it to see you suffer.
(Summons Indra, Jinn, Shiva, and Mist Dragon)
-Squall (very worried): Oh well. At least I made it the quarter finals. I guess I could have done worse.
-Rydia: Go and get him my monsters! Destroy Squall!
(the monsters hesitate)
-Rydia: huh? What's going on?
-Leviathan: Umm...Rydia. We have something we want to talk about first.
-Titan: Grunt, grunt.
-Odin: YES, TALK IS REQUIRED.
-Rydia: Huh? What do you mean ''talk''? You're not supposed to talk. You're just supposed to kill who I tell you to! What's your problem?
-Asura: Well, it's just that we've been answering your summons unquestioningly for all these years and frankly we feel that lately you've just started using us like toys instead of living beings.
-Bahamut: Yeah, really. You never spend any quality time with us anymore. If this keeps up we'll develop an inferiority complex.
-Rydia: !!! you stupid dragon! I'll give you an inferiority complex alright if you don't squash that little punk over there!
-Odin: YOU SEE RYDIA? YOU NEVER LISTEN TO US. YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF.
-Leviathan: Really Rydia. We have needs too. We're living beings darn it, and we require tender loving care just like everything else.
-Titan: Grunt grunt.
-Rydia: ARGHHHH!!! KILL SQUALL NOW YOU DUMB MONSTERS! DO IT!
-Titan: GRUNT.
-Rydia: Don't you dare use that tone with me Titan! Who do you think you are?
-Titan: grunt, grunt. Grunt grunt GrUNt!
-Rydia: !!! What did you call me?
-Titan: grunt GrUNt.
-Rydia: You disrespectful little...arghhh!!!! That's it; You're all worthless! Every last one of you! You're all a bunch of little freaks who can't fight! You're worthless, hear me? WORTHLESS!
-Bahamut: You take that back, mortal, or else.
-Rydia: Or else what you overgrown idiot!? You're all nothing without me! You hear?!
(All the monsters share a silent nod with each other.)
-Rydia: Hey, wait. What are you doing? Back away, now. Back off!
-Rydia: Back off, I said! Hey STOP! Titan, what are you doing? OUCH!
-Titan: GrUNT.
-Rydia: Get away from me you filthy animals! GET AWAY! OWWW! STOP IT!
-Leviathan: *sigh*..sorry it had to end this way Rydia.
-Rydia: STOP! NO! NOOOO!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH........
-Leviathan: whew. I'm glad that's over. all that pointless slaughtering made me hungry.
-Odin: ME TOO. ANYONE ELSE WANT TO GO GET SOMETHING?
-Asura: Yeah, but it'll have to be quick; I've got a dentist appointment at 4. Where do you guys want to go?
-Titan: grUnt.
-Leviathan: No, Titan. We ate there last week, remember? You had heartburn for three days.
-Titan: grunt grunt gruNT?
-Leviathan: Yes, I do think it had something to do with you eating the waitress. I told you that she wasn't part of the meal didn't I? Serves you right, you oaf.
-Titan: grunttt...Grunt, grunt.
-Leviathan: Well I don't blame her. I wouldn't have given you my number either.
Meanwhile: Squall advances.
QUARTER FINAL MATCH #3:
(Ultimecia VS. Zell)
-Ref. Mills Lane: Alright, I want a good clean match. And there better not be any time compression either. Now lets get it on!
-Zell: Huh? What's with the referee?
-Ultimecia: There were allegations of cheating in the last match, so now we have a referee to preside over things and make sure it's "fair".
-Zell: Oh well, I'm still gonna pound your face; Get ready!
-Ultimecia: Foolish SeeD. Kurse you and this tournament. I am everlasting.
-Zell (does backflip): You're doomed witch, you can't win. I'm the good guy, remember? This is my show; and besides, "Malboro Man" has already predicted your defeat.
-Ultimecia: I do not kare about mere predictions; I will kompletely krush you and your little friend. Your time is at and end.
(picks up Zell by the throat and throws him across the arena)
-Zell: ughh....crap. i need a GF, quick.
(summons Bahaumut)
(there is no reply)
-Ultimecia: Ha ha ha, Bahaumut is dead you idiot! The chocoboo killed him! Haven't you been following the tournament?
-Zell: i wanted to, but i had to read my fighter comics.
-Ultimecia: Too bad.
(Uses Hell's Judgment)
(lots of nice PS graphics follow for a few seconds)
-Zell: Ouuuuuuch! Back off lady, somebody help!
(uses Elixir)
-Ultimecia: Well we can't be having you using Elixir's, now can we?
(seals ITEM command)
-Zell: Wait a minute, You can't do that! We're not in your castle! You can only lock commands in your castle! Mills, do something!
-Ref. Mills Lane (ponders for a moment): I'll allow it!
-Zell: ...wha!?
-Ultimecia (laughs madly): Well at least you have the komfort of knowing that the critics will gripe incessantly about how unfair your death was.
-Zell: "critics"? Who are the "cri-tics"? Are they a type of bug or something?
-Ultimecia: Idiot!
(backhands Zell across the face)
-Zell: That's it you stupid hoe, now you've done it! I summon the kind of the GF's, Bahamaut!
(summons Bahaumut)
(there is no reply)
-Ultimecia: You just did that you moron!
-Zell: oh really? These darn GF's are just killing my memory. I just can't seem to remember anything anymore. oh well, you want to go get something to eat?
-Ultimecia: WE'RE HAVING A DEATHMATCH!!! YOU ARE INKOMPETENT!
-Zell: Oh yeah, that's right. I remember now. Hey, then why can't I summon Bahamut?
-Ultimecia: BECAUSE THE CHOCOBOO KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Zell: yeah, that's right! I got it now! But wait, didn't Rydia use Bahaumut in the last match? What gives?
-Ultimecia (picks Zell up by the throat again; proceeds to shake): BECAUSE RYDIA USED THE SUMMONED MONSTER BAHAUMUT; YOU TRIED TO CALL THE GF!!!!!!!!
-Ultimecia: YOU HEAR ME!? S-U-M-M-O-N-E-D M-O-N-S-T-E-R! SPELL IT WITH ME BOY!
-Ultimecia: S!
(blow to Zell's skull)
-Ultimecia: U!
(slash to Zell's stomach)
-Ultimecia: M!
(slam's Zell on the ground)
-Ultimecia: M!
(slam's Zell on the ground again)
-Ultimecia: O!
(stab to Zell's throat)
-Ultimecia: N!
(gash to Zell's leg)
-Ultimecia: C!
-Ultimecia: Oh darn! I spelled it wrong! I guess I'll have to start all over again!
-Ultimecia: S!
(blow to Zell's skull)
(entire sequence repeats....)
-Ultimecia: There, now you understand the difference. Zell? Zell? You there?
(the bloody pulp on the ground does not respond)
-Ultimecia: Oh, I guess I killed him; lucky me. (yawn)
-Mysterious voice: Wait! Hold on!
-Ultimecia: Huh? Who's that?
-Ramza: It's me, Ramza Beolouve. You must stop the deathmatch! It's not what you think lady, It's being manipulated by the church in their quest for the holy stones! You must cease this un-necessary violence!
-Ultimecia: Ramza who? Who are you? You were never in a Final Fantasy game, what are you doing here?
-Ramza: Yes I was! I was in Final Fantasy Tactics, the epic war simulation.
-Ultimecia: !!! I remember now! I spent 7 centuries trying to sort through all the characters and story lines in that game! I was never able to finish! I wanted to, but I couldn't!
-Ramza: No, its not me! It's the church! They planned it! You don't understand!
-Ultimecia: It's all your fault mortal! In order to have enough time to understand that game I had to activate time kompression and go back in time! But then those cursed SeeDs foiled my plan just as I was about to finish the game! Now you will pay for your crimes!
-Ramza: No! Wait! It's not my fault! I'm not a SeeD! Ahhh!!! Its the chur..AGHHHHH!!!!
(Insert ominous music): Ultimecia advances
QUARTER FINAL MATCH #4:
(Cloud VS. The Chocoboo)
Ref. Mills Lane: Ok, I want a good clean fight and there better not be any breeding going on either. Ok, lets get it on!
-Chocoboo: Don't you just find me irresistibly cute and cuddly?
(Cloud laughs and chops the Chocoboo in half.)
Anyone want some BBQ-Chocoboo?: Cloud advances.
-Loudspeaker: And so ends the illustrious Quarter Finals of our little deathmatch and the
beginning of the epic Semi-Finals. Oddly enough, the first semi-final match had to be delayed excessively when Sephiroth was nowhere to be found. When he finally returned, he would offer no explanation of his mysterious
disappearance other than he "had to go discover the truth behind it all". With this mysterious comment, the next round of battles finally began.
-Heres the card~
-Final Fantasy Deathmatch Semi-Finals Fight Card:
-Sephiroth, Master of the Ancients *VS* Squall, SeeD Commander
-Cloud Stryfe, Elite Mercenary *VS* Ultimecia, Time Sorceress
Semi-File Battle # 1:
Special Ref: Mills Lane
-Ref. Mills Lane: "Alright, I want a good clean fight. And there better not be any cheesy, rushed endings either! Now let's get it on!"
(Squall draws his Lionheart)
(Sephiroth draws his Masamune)
-Sephiroth: "Your ascension is at an end mortal. Prepare to return to the life stream.
-Squall: "Life...stream? I don't think so. I'm not going anywhere."
-Sephiroth: "So you believe."
(Sephiroth charges in with a low, twisting slice. Squall is forced to take a step back and stab his blade downward to intercept the blow, but Sephiroth continues the assault by sliding his Masamune up the length of the gunblade and toward Squall's face. Only by hurling himself backwards does Squall escape death.)
(Sephiroth doesn't relent though, and leads in with a series of quick, agile slices. Because of his
imbalance, Squall is barely able to parry these thrusts and soon ends up with a number of minor nicks. His patience is rewarded though, as Sephiroth realizes too late that he cannot safely reverse his forward momentum. As Sephiroth falls to the ground and rolls to the side to disengage, Squall is able to line up a clumsy attack. The flat end of Squall's gunblade connects with Sephiroth's ribs and the pair fall away from each other bearing minor wounds.)
(Again and again the two lock up in a flash of ferocious sword play and drop back with a few new injuries. Neither fighter scores any major hits and the battle begins to seem as if it will never end.)
-Sephiroth: "Hmmm....not too bad. You are almost as accomplished as I am in the art of combat. It's such a shame you must perish."
-Squall: "Those who live by the sword die by it wicked creature. If you come at me, you shall be the one to fall."
-Sephiroth: " `Wicked creature'? And what have I done to earn that distinction?"
(Lashes out with the Masamune. It is deflected.)
-Squall: "Don't play dumb. I know all about you and your evil ways. It ends here!"
-Sephiroth: "I do believe you are mistaken."
(Squall attempts a critical slashing attack, but Sephiroth steps out of the way of the assault just in time, countering with a deadly slice of his own. Squall falls to the ground, critically wounded.)
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-Sephiroth: "Now you understand the true power of Jenova. A boy like you could never hope to match its everlasting energy."
-Squall: "Gush....Stupid gunblade....I guess this is the end."
-Sephiroth: "That's just too bad...such a promising warrior too...doomed from the start. Good-bye Squall."
(Uses Supernova)
-Squall: "No!"
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(Spell is cancelled.)
Sephiroth: "What? Impossible! How has my magic been nullified?! What is going on!?"
-Mysterious voice: "Cecil! The people of Earth are praying for you! We won't let you lose!"
-Squall: "Huh?"
-Mysterious voice: "It's me, FuSoYa! I'm here with your brother Golbez to help you."
-Squall: "What are you talking about? I'm not Cecil. He's already been defeated."
-FoSoYa: "Cecil, defeated? You mean we're late? Oh no!"
-Golbez: "Damn it FoSoYa, I told you we didn't have time to stop for gas. Now look what you've done."
-FoSoYa: "Well what did you want to do?! Break down on the way over here? Maybe if you hadn't spent so long deciding what flavor of Gatorade you wanted, we could have made a little more haste!"
-Golbez: "Speaking of Haste, maybe if you hadn't used the last of your MP on that damned Ice spell, then we could have used Haste to help us get over here!"
-FoSoYa: "You ass! You never installed the air conditioner on the Big Whale! What did you want me to do, burn up? It's all your fault. You were the one who insisted that we fill the tank up with gas! Jesus Christ! Do you have any idea how much gas the Big Whale can hold?! I spent almost 70000 GP!!!"
-Golbez: "Well if you had just..."
-Sephiroth: "BOTH OF YOU, SHUTUP!"
-Squall: "Yeah, really. Can't you two go somewhere else and argue?"
-Golbez: "Well we didn't come all this way for nothing. Here you go Squall: CURE 4!"
-Squall: "Cure 4? What the hell is that? You mean Curaga?"
-Golbez: "No, I mean Cure 4. And why does your sword have a trigger on it?"
-Squall: "Because it's a gunblade. Now leave!"
-FuSoYa: "A gun...blade? Why would you put a gun on a sword?"
-Squall: "Because I can pull the trigger and cause extra damage you idiots. Now leave me alone!"
-Golbez: "So the blade shoots off? Doesn't that cause problems? How do you retrieve your blade once it comes off?"
-FuSoYa: "Excellent point Golbez, although I seriously doubt that the blade shoots off. Maybe it just detaches partially? Hmmm... I must admit that I fail to understand this whole `gunblade' concept. I don't see how putting a trigger on a sword is going to automatically cause more damage."
-Squall: "You don't have to understand! It just does! And it looks really neat! So stop complaining!"
-Golbez: "But the sheer physics of it are completely mind boggling. You pull the trigger...and what happens? What mechanism in the sword causes the extra damage?"
-FuSoYa: "Yes, indeed. I admit to the ingenuity of it, but I don't think it's a very practical weapon. Wouldn't you be better off just using a nice curving sword like that gentleman over there?"
-Sephiroth: "I grow tired of you silly 2-D sprites. Your entertainment value has come to an end."
-Golbez: "No way. We could stand here and point out the inconsistencies of the gunblade all day long. Imagine how funny everyone will think it is! Let's go for it FuSoYa. We'll make this the greatest match ever with our wisecracking antics. We'll be famous!"
-Squall: "Ahem...allow me to demonstrate how the gunblade works. It really is quite simple."
(Squall runs up and cuts into Golbez.)
Golbez: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Squall: "Now, all I do is pull this trigger....see....."
(Pulls trigger. *Extra damage*)
(Golbez explodes.)
Squall: "And presto! Extra damage magically appears. You see, you don't have to understand it for it to work."
FuSoYa: "Yes...ummm...sure...uh-huh....well i've got to go.... i just remembered I have to be at a place.....or something...bye!"
(FuSoYa runs off)
-Sephiroth: "Idiot."
-Squall: "Completely."
(Sephiroth turns and holds the tip of his sword at Squall's throat.)
-Sephiroth: "Do you even know why you are here?"
-Squall: "What do you mean, why am I here? I'm here to fight. I'm here to win."
-Sephiroth (laughs): "Here to win? You cannot win. Neither of us can."
-Squall: "What do you mean!? I will defeat you and win the tournament. I will be the champion!"
-Sephiroth: (laughs again): "You are a fool. He will not let anyone be the champion. He will not even let any of us live!"
-Squall: "Who? Who are you talking about?"
-Sephiroth: "Him. Me. From the future."
-Squall: "What!? I don't understand. What the hell are you talking about?"
-Sephiroth: "I don't have time to explain. I am willing to spare your life, but in return you will help me destroy him."
-Squall: "First of all, I don't need you to spare my life. And second, I don't even know who this `him' is. How do I know that this isn't a trick?"
-Sephiroth: "Because if my intentions were to kill you then I would have already done it. Now will you cooperate or not?"
-Squall: "Perhaps. But I'd still like to know just what the hell you're so concerned about."
-Sephiroth: "You will find out soon enough. But for now, I need to explain the plan to you."
-Squall: "The plan?"
-Sephiroth: "Yes, if we're not organized he will destroy us easily. Now listen up. We're going to fake my death and set it up to look like you won this match."
-Squall: "Why are we faking your death?"
-Sephiroth: "Because he won't expect it! Now stop asking so many questions!"
-Squall: "But wait. Whoever this is you're talking about...isn't he watching us right now?"
-Sephiroth: "No. He is too interested in the Cloud VS. Ultimecia match that is going on at the same time. He has a personal interest in that match."
-Squall: "I don't understand this at all. Who is this mysterious person? Why should we fear him? What connection does he have with the deathmatch? And why does he have a personal interest in the Cloud VS. Ultimecia match? I'm just so confused."
-Sephiroth: "Well you've been that way the entire tournament, so you should be used to it by now."
-Ref. Mills Lane: "Now wait just a dog gone minute. I won't allow it. I'm the referee here and I say that neither of you leaves until someone dies! Is that understood?"
-Sephiroth: "Loud and clear."
Ref. Mills Lane: "AHHHHHGH!! ARHGHGGGGHHHgghghhghhhhhlll................"
??????????: Squall advances.
OFFICIAL STORY UPDATE:
(Squall and Sephiroth in an abandoned part of the arena complex.)
-Sephiroth: ''Do you understand now?''
(Squall nods slowly)
-Squall: ''So when you died your alien cell thingies refused to perish, and then they grew for a long time and turned into this Neo guy.''
-Sephiroth: ''Close enough. Do you understand why we're here?''
-Squall: ''Not really. I kind of missed that part.''
-Sephiroth: ''Pay attention! This is important! This creature is apparently a very vengeful person and want revenge for his suffering.''
-Squall: ''But you just referred to him in 3rd person; I thought you said he was you.''
-Sephiroth: ''We are genetically similar, but I would never be so careless as Neo. He has made several errors in his little rampage.''
-Squall: ''Rampage?''
-Sephiroth: ''He wants to destroy everything he once knew. He won't stop until his thirst for blood is sated.''
-Squall: ''But I never knew you before now. Neither did most of the people involved in this event. What does he have against us?''
-Sephiroth: ''He apparently has knowledge of some sort of a connection between us. There apparently is something we all have in common, although I'm lost as to what that is.''
-Squall: ''But why this whole event in the first place? If he wanted us dead, why not just kill us off one by one?''
-Sephiroth: ''I have several theories. I believe first of all that he cannot enter any of our individual worlds. He had to bring us all here to his personal dimension.''
-Sephiroth: ''Second, he is a twisted fool. I suppose he would rather see us kill each other off than deal with us himself. Although now that I think about it, the reasoning is sound. Why expend effort in destroying what can be made to destroy itself?''
-Squall: ''But why did we fight in the first place? All I can remember when I came here is a blind rage.''
-Sephiroth: ''It's a spell I researched once that Neo must have perfected. A combination of Berserk and Charm. It's called Cherserk. It influences a target to serve a master in a blind rage. Fortunately though, since these matches are soooo far apart, Cherserk has lost its power and has worn off.''
-Squall: ''Hmmmm... so that's why we killed so senselessly.''
-Squall: ''But how will we defeat Neo? I thought you said he was practically invincible.''
-Sephiroth: ''I truthfully have no idea if he is even defeatable. I'm just hoping that we find a way to stop him before its too late.''
-Squall: ''Whoa, wait a minute. Why are you even opposing him in the first place? He's you in the future right? Why try to mess your own self up?''
-Sephiroth: ''Like I said, that's not me. It's just another lifeform based off my genetic structure and memories. And besides, he plans to kill me anyway.''
-Squall: ''?''
-Sephiroth: ''In order for him to exist, my cells must develop underneath the planet for thousands of years, right?''
-Squall: ''Yes, keep going.''
-Sephiroth: ''When he snatched me from my dimension, it was right after Cloud had dealt me my mortal blow and I was about to pass away. He saved me from my death just to participate in his little deathmatch. I'm not sure why. Maybe because he wanted to compare his power now with mine 7000 years earlier. Perhaps he wanted to see how far he had developed.''
-Sephiroth: ''Now, obviously, I'm not quite dead yet. So, he must ensure that I meet my doom here and return to the planet so he can be born. Do you understand this as well?''
(Squall nods again, looking deep in thought.)
-Squall: ''Wait! I remember too!''
-Squall: ''Yes, me and my friends had just defeated Ultimecia! I remember Irvine yelling something about not getting lost in time warps and then... then I....''
(Squall concentrates, trying to remember)
-Squall: ''I tried to go to that special place Rinoa and I had promised to each other, but...I ended up in my orphanage instead.....and then....I can't remember anymore. That's when I was snatched. I remember a desert and I was floating through dimensions briefly and suddenly I was here in this place.''
-Sephiroth: ''So you have a reason to try and live as well.''
-Squall: ''But you said his power was only to traverse dimensions. How did he cross time as well?''
-Sephiroth: ''I do not know. Do you know of any means he could have used to cheat time?''
-Squall: ''Wait! Yes of course! Ultimecia!''
-Sephiroth: ''That ugly woman who is supposed to be fighting Cloud?''
-Squall: ''Right! She was working on a way to cheat time and bring it together. We defeated her, but before we could, she compressed time. Perhaps that was the plan all along!''
-Sephiroth: ''I do not follow.''
-Squall: ''Perhaps Neo-Sephiroth contacted her and convinced her to activate time compression! That way he could snatch all of us from our respective universes and time periods. It's a perfect plan that worked perfectly!''
-Sephiroth: ''Then that's why Neo has an interest in the next match. He obviously has no intentions of allowing Cloud to kill as valuable a tool as Ultimecia. He will intervene if all else fails.''
-Squall: ''How do you know?''
-Sephiroth: ''Me and him think alike, remember? Come on, we need to be there when all of this goes down. As much as I dislike the thought, we may need Cloud's help to solve this situation.''
-Squall: ''Then let's get going. The match has probably already started.''
Semi-Final Battle # 2
-Ultimecia: "Kurses! Where is that fool Mills Lane? He was supposed to have been here an hour ago!"
-Cloud: "He must have gotten held up. Wonder Square Garden is a big place, you know. It's not hard to get lost in here."
-Ultimecia: "I don't care, this is inexcusable! We're never going to get this match started!"
-Cloud: "Just chill out. I'm tired of hearing you whine about everything."
-Ultimecia: "What did you say to me?! I grow tired of your constant insolence, filthy dog."
-Cloud: "Who are you calling filthy? You'd think that a sorceress like you would have discovered the magic of `deodorant' by now. Jesus, you reek."
-Ultimecia: "THat's it! I've had it! I've put up with your disrespect for long enough. We fight here and now!"
-Cloud: "Oooh I'm scared. The big bad witch is going to try and..."
(Ultimecia bitch slaps Cloud and sends him flying across the arena.)
(He slams against the far wall with a solid thump.)
-Cloud: "..oof...that...was uncalled for."
-Ultimecia: "You are nothing to me. I will soon own you."
-Cloud: "No one owns me. Especially not you."
(Cloud climbs back on his feet and readies his sword.)
-Ultimecia: "Bwa ha ha. You simply fail to understand. Very soon, I will be the queen of everything you have ever known. You might as well go ahead and accept it."
-Cloud: "You saying that to a sewer rat might make sense, but to me....? Oh well, I think I'll just kill you and call it a day."
(Cloud charges in at Ultimecia with his Ultimate Weapon in a dizzying whirl of slashes and feints.)
-Ultimecia: "Get away from me dog!"
(She whips out a large jeweled scepter and backs away from Cloud, parrying blow after blow from his whirl of swordplay.)
-Cloud: "That's right sorceress, run away from the power you will never possess!"
-Ultimecia: "What a fool you are. Do you really think that power is based on strength alone?"
-Cloud: "Do you really think your silly magic can hold water to a skilled warrior? One can always count on a good solid blow from a blade. Magic cannot always be predicted."
(Feigns an overhead chop and spins into a low sweeping strike.)
(Ultimecia barely catches the maneuver in time and suffers a small bruise from the impact.)
-Ultimecia (looking around angrily): "What was that!? I thought you said I was protected from this twerp!"
-Cloud (looking confused): "Huh? Who are you talking to?"
-Ultimecia (laughing): "Oh, you don't know?"
-Ultimecia: "It's only the future GOD of the multi-verse!"
-Cloud: "...god?...Who is this god?"
-Ultimecia: "You don't need to worry little one. You will be dead and gone soon enough."
-Cloud: "We'll see about that!"
(Launches into yet another series of deadly attacks.)
(Ultimecia lets her guard slip and Cloud's sword comes slicing through....)
(...It bounces right back.)
-Cloud: "What the hell? I scored a hit! What's going on?"
-Ultimecia (mockingly): "Oh no, what happened Cloud? Did your `solid blow from your blade' fail you in your time of need?"
-Cloud: "It's not right! I should have skewered you! How....?"
(Ultimecia throws her scepter down on the floor.)
-Ultimecia: "Come on little one. I'll even give you another chance."
-Cloud: "That's it, no more playing around."
(Raises Ultimate Weapon high into the air.)
-Cloud: "From the Alpha to the Omega, all cosmos lend me your power! Omni-Slash!"
(Cloud focuses all of his power into a almighty series of critical slashes.)
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(Cloud falls away.)
-Cloud: "Huh? That's impossible! I didn't even scratch you! Is this for real?"
-Ultimecia: "No Cloud, it's just a dream. Here let me pinch you and wake you up."
(Ultimecia's claws rip into Cloud's shoulder.)
-Cloud (falling backwards): "Auughhhhhh! No! Cure 3!"
(No effect.)
-Cloud: "Huh? My magic is gone! How is this happening!? I don't understand!"
-Ultimecia: "I thought you didn't need magic, Cloud. What happened, hmmm? Here, this should make you feel better."
(Uses Hell's Judgment.)
(The fires of Hell consume Cloud and burn him with their everlasting fury.)
-Cloud: "Ahhhhh!!!! I'm....finished...."
(He collapses, mortally wounded.)
-Ultimecia: "Fool. Now, you know what true power is. It has nothing to do with that lump of metal in your hands. The only true power is Neo-Sephiroth."
-Cloud: "....Sephiroth?....no...he's dead. I killed him..."
-Ultimecia: "Try again wretched dog. I'm afraid he is very, very much alive."
-Cloud: "..neo?..."
-Ultimecia: "He is the reincarnation of the man you used to hate so much. Only this time he will not be defeated by a spiky haired freak like you! Mwa ha ha ha!"
(Cloud attempts to pick himself up, but Ultimecia kicks him back down.)
-Cloud: "That's why I couldn't hurt you..."
-Ultimecia: "Of course it is you silly creature. Do you really think Neo-Sephiroth would allow a twerp like you to injure his future QUEEN? I am protected from any harm you might try to cause me."
-Cloud: "Ughh...Queen? Is this what he promised you?"
(Ultimecia pats Cloud on the cheek.)
-Ultimecia: "Don't be jealous blonde one. I can't help it you're not his type."
-Ultimecia: "I can't help it if I will soon help him rule EVERYTHING!"
(Raises scepter to deliver finishing blow.)
-Cloud: "This is the end...."
(Without warning, a long sword flashes out from nowhere and impales Ultimecia's raised arm.)
-Ultimecia: "AIEEEEEEE!!!!! My beautiful skin! AHHHHH!!"
(She falls to the side screaming.)
-Voice: "There is only one fool here Ultimecia. That is you."
-Ultimecia: "Who's there?! Who did this to me?"
(Sephiroth steps from the shadows as Squall enters from the left.)
(Squall immediately rushes to the aid of Cloud, an X-Potion in hand.)
-Ultimecia (to Sephiroth): "You!!!...You are not him! How are you here?"
-Sephiroth: "You mean he didn't tell you I was in the tournament too? Looks like you've been played lady."
-Ultimecia: "You will address me as `your majesty'!!! I will soon be your queen!"
(Sephiroth laughs.)
-Sephiroth: "Do you really think that Neo is going to make you his queen!? He is going to kill you as soon as he is done with you!"
-Ultimecia: "You are wrong! He promised me we would rule the universes together! How do you know what he will do!?"
-Sephiroth: "Because we are clones! Do you know what that means!? It means we have the same likes, dislikes, ambitions, preferences, and tastes! And I personally think you're a nasty bitch who doesn't even deserve to rule over cockroaches, much less the multiverse!"
(Ultimecia's eyes widen.)
(Sephiroth grabs her and pulls her face to face with him.)
-Sephiroth: "But you don't have to worry angel. I won't let him hurt you..."
-Ultimecia (her eyes flooded with relief): "You won't?"
-Sephiroth: "...No. I want the pleasure all to myself."
(Sephiroth drops her to the ground and gives her a moment to absorb the realization before driving his Masamune cleanly through her heart.)
-Ultimecia: "AGHHHHHH!!!!!! NOOO GGHHOGGHHHH!!! ARghhAckkhhhhhh gggurgle..chhccc......."
(Ultimecia thrashes around wildly for a few moments and then does not move anymore.)
-Voice: "ULTIMECIA!? ARE YOU THERE? WHAT HAS HAPPENED?"
(All three jump backwards at the loud and sinister voice.)
-Squall: "Who's there?"
(All is quiet.)
-Cloud (very disoriented): "What's going on? Who's voice was that?"
(Squall helps Cloud to his feet.)
-Squall: "Shhh! I hear it again!"
(Cloud and Squall stand in the dense fog with their weapons ready. Sephiroth lurks deep in the shadows.)
-Voice: "I AM THE ETERNAL BEING. I AM THE EVERLASTING HATRED. I AM NEO-SEPHIROTH."
(Neo-Sephiroth materializes in a cloud of red mist.)
-Cloud: "Holy shit! Get away from it!"
(Screams of horror surge from the depths of the red mist, lost souls attacking everything nearby.)
(Squall and Cloud barely crawl away in time.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "WHO KILLED MY TOOL? WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?"
(Squall looks around for where Sephiroth went, but cannot see him.)
(Cloud fearfully puzzles for a moment, trying to recall the final few moments of the last battle. He vaguely remembers seeing someone stabbing Ultimecia.)
(Neo-Sephiroth focuses on Squall.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "WHY ARE YOU HERE HUMAN? YOU ARE NOT SCHEDULED TO BE FIGHTING HERE."
-Squall: "I...um...finished my match and uh...didn't know where my next opponent was, so I came in search of him."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU ARE LYING. I SENSE YOUR FEAR. ANSWER ME NOW OR I WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM."
-Squall: "I'm not lying! It's true! I had..."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THEN IS YOUR OPPONENT DEAD? DID YOU KILL SEPHIROTH?"
-Squall: "Well...yes. Yes I did. I await the victor of this match."
-Neo-Sephiroth (turning to Cloud): "AND YOU? WAS IT YOU WHO JUST KILLED MY TOOL?"
(Cloud looks at Ultimecia's lifeless body, not remembering how she got that way.)
(Squall nudges Cloud with his foot.)
-Cloud: "Oh, um...yes I suppose I did. I just..kind of....hit her and..."
(Neo-Sephiroth gives Cloud a very displeased look.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU WILL PAY. BUT NOT HERE."
-Cloud: "Huh? I was just doing what I was supposed to and...."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THE GRAND THRONE ROOM. THAT IS YOUR NEXT OBJECTIVE. MEET THERE IN THREE HOURS."
(Neo-Sephiroth fades away in an explosion of blue fire.)
The end is near: Cloud advances.
OFFICIAL STORY UPDATE:
(Squall and Cloud in an undisclosed area of the arena complex.)
-Cloud (to Squall): "Ok, I think I missed something.
Would you mind telling me who you are and what just happened?"
-Squall: "It's an awful lot to explain. Basically it appears that we've all
been tricked into participating in some kind of deathmatch. That creature you
just saw is the one behind it all."
-Cloud: "You mean Sephiroth? He's behind this?"
-Squall: "No, that wasn't exactly Sephiroth you saw. It was kind of like a
turbo-charged version of him."
-Cloud: "Whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. I need a second to think."
(Cloud crouches against the wall for a few minutes staring off into space.
Squall waits patiently.)
-Cloud: "Now that I think about it, I do remember coming here without any
kind of self control. All I could think was kill, kill kill."
-Squall: "That was because of the spell he had on us."
-Cloud: "So you're saying it's worn off now?"
-Squall: "Yes. If I'm not mistaken, we've regained control of
ourselves."
-Cloud: "But how did we get here in the first place? I'm still lost."
-Squall: "It has a lot to do with that woman Ultimecia and Neo-Sephiroth."
-Cloud: "And Neo-Sephiroth was that scary ass monster thing we just
saw?"
-Squall: "Yes."
-Cloud: "Give me another minute to think."
(Cloud thinks some more.)
-Cloud: "I remember..."
-Squall: "Yes."
-Cloud: "I remember killing Sephiroth. Yes, that's it."
-Squall: "Go on."
-Cloud: "Me and my friends defeated him and used Cid's airship to escape
from the crater. I think we flew to Midgar."
-Squall: "Keep going. Try to remember up to the moment you were
snatched."
-Cloud: "There was light....everywhere. I think it was the lifestream. It
had something to with Holy magic. The light was....attacking...Midgar! Yes
that's it!"
-Squall: "?"
-Cloud: "The light began to move in on Midgar and then suddenly there was a
flash of light and...Aeris....!"
-Squall: "Aeris?"
-Cloud: "She was one of my friends before Sephiroth killed her. I thought
she was gone forever, but I swear I saw her face just before I was
snatched!"
-Squall: "Sephiroth killed your friend?"
-Cloud: "Sephiroth is the source of all evil! I only wish I could kill him
a thousand times for what he's done to me!"
(Sephiroth steps from the shadows.)
-Sephiroth: "Well then, if you like, we can go for Round 2 right now."
-Cloud: "!!!!!!! You're alive!? How can you....nevermind! Die
again!!!!"
(Cloud rushes Sephiroth in a blind fury and the two clash blades time after time
for what seems like an eternity. Both eventually tire and Squall is able to get
them separated long enough to get a few words in.)
-Squall: "Both of you stop!"
-Cloud: "Never! You have no idea what he's done! If you're on his side then
we are mortal enemies forever!"
-Squall: "I'm not on anyone's side right now! I just want to get home! And
I'm sure that if one of you kills the other that will never happen!"
(Sephiroth and Cloud circle around each other slowly.)
-Cloud: "You killed Aeris! You killed my family! I will never forgive
you!"
(Sephiroth shrugs his shoulders.)
-Sephiroth: "Your family I apologize for. I was in the midst of a mindless
rage at the time and was not thinking correctly."
-Cloud: "That's it!? You just expect to just utter a few words and have me
forgive you!? I will never forget your crimes! I will destroy you for Aeris!"
-Sephiroth: "Ahhh, but you assume I murdered Aeris."
-Cloud: "You will deny it!? We all saw you!"
-Sephiroth: "It is not murder if the subject is willing to go."
-Cloud: "What the hell are you saying!? Are you trying to tell me Aeris
wanted you to kill her!?"
-Sephiroth: "She knew what had to be done. She knew that she had to enter
the lifestream and activate Holy to save the planet. That is why she came to the
Ancient City, knowing I'd be there."
-Cloud: "What!? Do you think I buy that? Your goal was to summon Meteor,
and you're saying you helped Aeris thwart it?"
-Sephiroth: "My goal was to summon Meteor in order to unlock the power of
the planet for myself. I was not too keen on letting the Meteor destroy what I
intended to rule. That's where Aeris came in."
-Cloud: "....you wanted her to summon Holy?"
-Sephiroth: "Aeris and I had a mutual understanding. She knew there was
only one way to truly enter the lifestream. And she knew that she was the only
one who could do it. I assumed that when she summoned Holy it would stop the
Meteor from destroying the planet. I realized that it would also attempt to eradicate
me, but I assumed that by then I would have drawn enough power from
the planet to withstand it. However, I had failed to include your interference
in my calculations. That is why I was overcome and defeated."
-Cloud: "Yes, you were defeated, but apparently not killed."
-Sephiroth: "I was mortally wounded in any case. Holy would have certainly
finished the job had we all not been snatched."
-Cloud: "But how can you be sure? This is all our fault. If my friends and
I had killed you proper, then this would have never taken place."
-Sephiroth: "On the contrary..."
-Cloud: "?"
-Sephiroth (to Squall): "Should I bother to explain?"
-Squall: "Yes, he needs to know just as much as I do."
-Sephiroth: "Very well. It begins like this..."
-Sephiroth: "Holy did kill me. I did perish and cease all consciousness.
However, the sentiment cells inside of me refused to be destroyed. Apparently, a
small, undifferentiated group of them escaped the rotting corpse of my body and
made their way to a lost and dark corner of the planet."
-Cloud: "So, part of you lived on?"
-Sephiroth: "Exactly. Those same cells progressed through generation after
generation, all the time evolving into higher and more superior building blocks.
They remained apart for almost six and half millennia, their collective mutations
equaling a power the planet had never known before. At the end of the fourth millennia, the planet realized something was very wrong, but it was too late. The
developing cells had created defenses so elaborate that nothing could prevent
them from carrying through with their plans."
-Cloud: "How many generations are we talking about?"
-Sephiroth: "Over 2,000,000,000. Because they stayed as individual
organisms, they were able selectively reproduce much faster than they would have
if they had gone ahead and formed a complex creature."
-Cloud: "So what happened after 6,500 years?"
-Sephiroth: "They decided they had evolved enough. It had come time for
them to fuse into the ultimate entity."
-Sephiroth: "For the next 500 years they worked themselves into a lifeform
very much like that of their origin, which would be myself. Over time, the cells
surrendered their individual intelligence in favor of a collective consciousness
that far surpassed anything that had previously been engineered. This would be
Neo."
-Cloud: "Neo? I assumed that is short for Neo-Sephiroth."
-Sephiroth: "Yes. But do not be fooled. We may be similar in appearance and
we may have similar personalities, but we are VERY different. Comparing our
collective powers to him would be like comparing a fly to the king of dragons.
-Cloud: "Oh, so let me guess. You want me to forget your crimes so we can
attempt to defeat this monstrosity? What a load of shit. I don't care if Aeris
intended to join the lifestream or not, the fact remains that you drove a sword
through her back. If she is dead, then I will dedicate my entire existence to
helping you join her. Draw your sword and let us finish this here and now."
-Sephiroth: "....."
-Sephiroth: "Aeris is not dead."
-Cloud: "Shut your lies fool. I have no desire to listen to them."
-Sephiroth: "It is no lie and you know it."
-Cloud: "And how would that be? Your presence is offending me more by the
moment."
-Squall: "Cloud, wait a minute. Think about what you just said a few
minutes ago. Do you remember the last thing you said you saw before you were
snatched? Didn't you say...?"
-Cloud: "....Aeris."
-Sephiroth (with a grin and a flourish): "You see? Her purpose in the
lifestream was complete. She was riding the light back into the world of the
living."
-Cloud: "Lies!"
-Sephiroth: "It is truth you fool! Weren't you yourself lost in the
lifestream at one time? Did you not find your way out!?"
-Cloud: "But my body was still alive! I had not suffered my mortal death
yet!"
-Sephiroth: "It is of no consequence. While in the lifestream you did not
inhabit your body. Your spirit became a free agent, drifting from one reality to
another."
-Sephiroth: "It is the same with everyone from our dimension. Your body, in
actuality, is merely another of life's limitations. When you die your soul is
released of this limitation and the planet draws you back into the lifestream.
The reason this happens is because death is a chaotic and uncontrolled thing;
the spirit ends up not having a purpose once it has departed from its shell and
therefore is recovered by the planet."
-Cloud: "But Aeris had a purpose!"
-Sephiroth: "Not only that; At the time of her death she had sealed her
life-force inside the White Materia. When it found it's way into the core of the
stream, so did Aeris' will. She was then able to perform the necessary actions
to summon the Holy."
-Sephiroth: "After this, her spirit was still a focused entity, for it had
not dispersed as most others do. I'm sure it would not have been a problem for
her to ride the light of Holy back into the land of the living, using the
lifestream's energies to form a new body."
-Cloud: "Then are you saying that I really did see her before...?"
-Sephiroth: "Yes, you saw her. And you will see her again if you can
control your foolishness."
-Cloud: "I can still never forgive you. I will never forget the suffering
you brought upon our world in your selfishness."
-Sephiroth: "No one is asking you to. However, I personally do not care to
die and end up becoming fuel to create Neo. I had planned greater things for
myself."
-Squall: "Cloud, don't forgive him. Just let us work together for the time
being to escape this deathtrap. If you kill Sephiroth now, then you will only be
fulfilling Neo-Sephiroth's plot."
-Cloud: "Fine. I will cooperate in the interests of getting back to my world
and my friends. Only after this is over will I attempt to finish what I already
have finished once before."
-Sephiroth: "That is all I ask."
-Squall: "Then perhaps we should come to some understanding of how to
tackle the actual problem of escape."
-Cloud: "What? Neither of you has a plan?!"
-Sephiroth: "Not exactly."
-Cloud: "I don't believe this. Is there no way for us to just leave? I'm
sure there is an exit around here somewhere."
-Sephiroth: "There is no exit. This is an entirely different dimension Neo
has constructed. I am not even fully sure that there is a way out."
-Squall: "Bummer."
-Cloud: "You're not suggesting we actually meet up with this guy in a
couple of hours!?"
-Sephiroth: "What choice do we have?"
THE FINAL BATTLE:
ALL |
Vs. |
Neo-Sephiroth |
(Squall and Cloud cautiously enter Neo-Sephiroth's throne room.)
-Cloud: "Neo, We've arrived! Show yourself!"
-Squall: "Let us finally end this!"
(A voice comes from all around.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THEN END IT. MY PRESENCE IS NOT REQUIRED."
-Cloud: "I don't think you understand. We're not here to fight each other. We're here to fight you."
(There is a moment of uncomfortable silence.)
(Squall and Cloud back closer together.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "WHAT?! JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU WILL FIGHT WHO I TELL YOU TO, WORMS."
-Squall: "I'm afraid we can't do that. We've learned of your plan to eliminate us and we won't stand for it."
-Cloud: "This is the part where we fight back!"
(Another stretch of awkward silence.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU? FIGHT ME? DON'T BE SILLY. WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS `PLAN'?"
(Sephiroth steps from the shadows.)
Sephiroth: "I did. Your game is through Neo."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU! YOU! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE!? SQUALL LIED TO ME! YOU WILL ALL SUFFER!"
(Everything grows eerily quiet for a moment before an explosion of energy and fire explodes from the center of the room, and Neo-Sephiroth materializes on a huge, sinister throne.)
|
Neo-Sephiroth: "PREPARE TO DIE." |
-Cloud: "Watch out!"
(A streak of blue and white light slices from Neo at Squall and Sephiroth.)
(Cloud grabs Squall just as Sephiroth rolls away in time to dodge the deadly blast.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "PUNY MORTALS! WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO ACCOMPLISH? SURRENDER NOW AND YOUR DEATHS WILL BE MERCIFUL."
-Squall (yelling in defiance): "There will be no surrender you shithead!"
-Cloud: "What the hell are you doing, Squall? You're just gonna piss him off!"
-Squall: "So? I'm sick of this asshole! He's gonna try to kill us anyway, no matter what we do!"
-Sephiroth (from across the room): "You idiots! Duck!"
(Squall and Cloud both hit the floor just in time to avoid Neo's next spell blast.)
-Sephiroth (to Squall and Cloud): "Flank him and rush in! I'll complete the triangle and we'll attack him from all sides!"
(Cloud dashes to the left while Squall maneuvers to Neo's right side. Sephiroth half levitates/half crawls across the ceiling to land directly behind Neo.)
(As the three rush in and bring their weapons to bear, Neo explodes in a sudden flash of action, sweeping low and taking Squall off his feet while
simultaneously parrying both Cloud's and Sephiroth's slashes with his Dark-Masamune and his wrist gauntlet.)
(He continues his momentum and spins around to drive himself fully into Sephiroth, while allowing his sword to complete its motion and turn from a parry to a full
assault on Cloud.)
(Squall falls to the ground with the air knocked out of him, while Cloud falls back with a nasty wound from the Dark-Masamune. Sephiroth goes spinning across the floor with Neo and slams into the large throne moments later.)
-Cloud (falling back): "Damnit, I'm hit!"
-Squall (gasping for air): "..hang...in there."
(Sephiroth lets out a cry of rage as he lands a punch right in Neo's face.)
(The pair, too close to bring their extensive blades to bear, engage in painful fist fight as they try to disengage from each other. Sephiroth is driven on by his fury, but because Neo's punches are terribly stronger than his, Sephiroth begins to fade quickly.)
(It's not long before Sephiroth lets his guard down sufficiently for Neo to get a solid grip on him. Neo proceeds to send him flying halfway across the room to crash into a wall. He crumples on the floor and begins struggling to regain his footing as Neo stands, virtually unscathed.)
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-Neo-Sephiroth: "HOW DARE YOU DOGS DEFY ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I AM DESTINED TO BECOME? DO YOU HAVE ANY COMPREHENSION OF WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH!?"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I AM NEO-SEPHIROTH! I WILL BE THE EMPEROR OF ALL REALITY! I WILL BE THE GOD OF ALL CREATION! WHY DO YOU WISH TO CHALLENGE YOUR RULER?"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "LOOK UPON ME LOWLY MORTALS! LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW THAT I AM THE ULTIMATE ENTITY! KNOW THAT I CAN NEVER BE DESTROYED! KNOW THAT I AM THE MASTER NOW AND FOREVER!" |
-Squall: "...nice speech."
(Cloud and Squall both struggle to their feet.)
-Cloud: "Well I still don't like his ugly ass."
-Sephiroth (regaining his composure): "I say we go for Round 2."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU IDIOTS STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO YOU?"
-Squall: "Apparently not. Why don't you enlighten us?"
-Cloud (falling back to the ground): "Arghh! I'm hurt worse than I thought!"
-Squall (in response): "Hang on Cloud, I'll be right over!"
(Sephiroth draws his sword and strides purposefully toward Neo.)
-Neo-Sephiroth (noticing Sephiroth's approach): "HMMM? DID YOU NOT GET ENOUGH THE FIRST TIME? ARE YOU ASKING FOR MORE PAIN?"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I'LL BE HAPPY TO OBLIGE."
(Suddenly Sephiroth and Neo meet in a ferocious clash of arms as they initiate a
monstrously violent duel.)
(The Masamune and the Dark-Masamune smash terrifyingly into each other again and again as the two weave a frightening dance of death. The battle shifts constantly from high routines down to low patterns and back up again with abandon, and sometimes the blades begin to move so fast they become lost in a blur of motion that is only interrupted when one of the pair goes in low for a spin move or a change up.)
(Squall meanwhile assists Cloud with the last cure potion and brings him back to fighting condition.)
(They ready their weapons and try to find an opening that will allow them to assist Sephiroth, but the fight is moving so fast and so furiously that anyone who goes near it is sure to be sliced into ribbons.)
(Helplessly Squall and Cloud look on as Neo-Sephiroth slowly gains the upper hand.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! WHY DO YOU RESIST YOUR OWN SELF!? I HAVE ACHIEVED THE DREAM THAT YOU NEVER COULD! I HAVE GAINED THE ULTIMATE POWER, IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS SOUGHT?"
-Sephiroth (barely deflecting a mortal blow): "Perhaps I was wrong to want such power! Perhaps if my plan had succeeded and I had
acquired all that I sought, then I would have turned out like you! In failure I have succeeded and been saved from myself! You are the one who has lost!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I DO NOT LOSE!"
(In an almost direct defilation of the laws of physics, the battle yet again picks up intensity and tempo and the twin entities begin colliding with such force and speed that only a continuous, resounding, all-encompassing clash can be heard in every direction.)
(Suddenly, the pair comes together one final time, and an explosion loud enough to send out a small shockwave rips through the throne room.)
(When the energy finally settles, Neo stands triumphant over Sephiroth. Pieces of the Masamune lay scattered all around Sephiroth's semi-conscious body, and Neo holds the Dark-Masamune to Sephiroth's chest.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "NOW WHO IS THE LOSER?"
-Sephiroth (attempting to cast a final spell): ".....super-nova...."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH."
(Neo waves his hand and dismisses Sephiroth's building spell.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THAT'S NOT A SPELL YOU PITIFUL MAGGOT! THAT IS A TOY."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I'LL SHOW YOU A SPELL. I'LL SEND YOUR DYING BODY BACK TO THE PLANET WHERE YOU BELONG!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I DO NOT LOSE!"
(In an almost direct defilation of the laws of physics, the battle yet again picks up intensity and tempo and the twin entities begin colliding with such force and speed that only a continuous, resounding, all-encompassing clash can be heard in every direction.)
(Suddenly, the pair comes together one final time, and an explosion loud enough to send out a small shockwave rips through the throne room.)
(When the energy finally settles, Neo stands triumphant over Sephiroth. Pieces of the Masamune lay scattered all around Sephiroth's semi-conscious body, and Neo holds the
Dark-Masamune to Sephiroth's chest.)
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-Neo-Sephiroth: "NOW WHO IS THE LOSER?"
-Sephiroth (attempting to cast a final spell): ".....super-nova...."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH."
(Neo waves his hand and dismisses Sephiroth's building spell.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THAT'S NOT A SPELL YOU PITIFUL MAGGOT! THAT IS A TOY."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I'LL SHOW YOU A SPELL. I'LL SEND YOUR DYING BODY BACK TO THE PLANET WHERE YOU BELONG!"
(Neo begins gathering his energies in a cloud of gravitational distortion.)
(Sephiroth looks on helplessly.)
-Cloud: "Quick, Squall! We've got to do something!"
-Squall: "What are we going to do? We'll never get through his defenses!"
-Cloud: "But we've got to try! If he finishes that spell and sends Sephiroth back, then..."
-Squall: "...Sephiroth will die and Neo-Sephiroth will be born..."
-Cloud: "...but if we can stop him..."
(The pair exchange a wide-eyed look as they suddenly come to a realization.)
-Squall: "Holy shit! This is our only chance!"
-Cloud: "We've got to do something to stop that spell!"
-Squall: "But what?"
(Neo's energies begin approaching critical mass. The spell will fire at any second.)
-Cloud: "DAMNIT! WE'VE GOT TO THINK!"
-Squall: "There's no time to think. We've got to use brute force, that's all we've got. Do you know what a limit break is?"
-Cloud: "Yes, do you have one too?"
-Squall: "I have my Renzokuken."
-Cloud: "I have my Omni-Slash."
-Squall: "Alright then. We'll strike him from behind on the count of three. Ready?"
-Cloud: "One..."
-Squall: "Two..."
-Cloud & Squall: "Three!"
Both: QZ`1`Q!~"Game-over Neo!"
(Just as Neo completes the final castings of his Dimensional Rip and lets loose with the almighty power of the universe, Squall and Cloud focus all of their remaining power into their ultimate limit breaks, and in a sudden burst of movement close the distance between Neo and themselves and begin pummeling him with a legendary series of blows and attacks.)
(Neo-Sephiroth's entire train of concentration is ruined as he absorbs these blows into himself to avoid taking damage. His focus instantly drops and the tentative control he had
possessed over the raw and dangerous energies of reality is immediately and irrevocably
lost.)
(The terrifying power he had hoarded within himself is too far built to dissipate
and it is abruptly released in a massive, ground-shaking explosion of energy. Black tentacles of nothingness tear across the throne room as glitches in the fabric of space-time rip outward in every direction.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"
(In the fury of the storm, the injured Sephiroth is suddenly swept toward one of the pulsating rifts that have grown in the room.)
(Sephiroth and Cloud share one last look before Sephiroth is sucked into the wormhole and vanishes forever.)
(Suddenly, everything stops.)
(For a moment everything is silent.)
-Neo-Sephiroth: "NO. IT CAN'T BE."
(As Cloud and Squall look on, Neo begins to slowly fade.)
-Squall (pointing at the increasingly transparent Neo): "Cloud, look! Can it be...?"
-Cloud: "I think.....did it work?"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING."
(Neo thrashes around wildly in the air, but is unable to stop the process.)
-Squall: "Oh my god, he's fading out of existence..."
-Cloud: "Then it must have been true....?"
-Squall: "Oh shit."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "AHHGGHH! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS!"
-Cloud: "You're not dying. You never existed in the first place."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "NO, IT'S NOT TRUE! I EXIST NOW! I EXIST DAMNIT!"
(Squall slowly shakes his head.)
-Squall: "You were born from the dead cells of Sephiroth deep within the planet."
-Cloud: "The only reason you came into existence was because Sephiroth died in the first place. More importantly, he died inside a planet that his dead cells could feed off of."
-Squall: "But you snatched Sephiroth from that time period just before he died..."
-Cloud: "...And were obligated to kill him and return him to that same place, or else..."
-Squall: "...or else his remains would have never had a chance to develop into you."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "BUT HE WAS MORTALLY WOUNDED...AND I CAST THE SPELL..."
-Squall: "How can you be sure he was so mortally wounded? Perhaps if he receives
medical attention soon, he will survive."
-Cloud: "And how do you know where he ended up at? I saw him fall into a rip in space-time. He could have slipped into an infinite number of times and dimensions. I would bet that he didn't go back to the planet like you had originally planned."
-Squall: "Somebody fucked up."
-Neo-Sephiroth: "BUT I AM GOD! I AM INVINCIBLE! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "BUT IF I DON'T EXIST, THEN NONE OF THIS CAN EVER HAPPEN!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "I COULD NEVER SNATCH YOU AND I COULD NEVER SNATCH SEPHIROTH! HOW CAN THIS BE!? IT'S A PARADOX!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "BUT SEPHIROTH HAS TO DIE SOMETIME! HE CAN'T LIVE FOREVER!"
-Neo-Sephiroth: "AND WHEN HE DIES, HIS CELLS WILL LIVE ON AGAIN! I WILL BE REBORN! I WILL EXIST AGAIN! I'M COMING BACK YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!"
-Cloud: "Did you catch that?"
-Squall: "Not really. I think I heard him say something about paradoxes..."
-Cloud: "...paradox....Oh my god!"
-Squall: "What?"
(A deep low rumbling begins in all directions.)
-Cloud: "Shit! This entire dimension is going to cease to exist!"
-Squall: "What do you mean!?"
-Cloud: "We've created a time paradox! If Neo never existed then he was never there to rescue himself! If he never rescued himself then he exists! If he exists then he just messed up and erased his birth! This is not good! The multi-verse won't be able to handle this contradiction and will convert the illogic of it into pure energy!"
-Squall: "Fourth dimensional energy....this thing isn't quite over yet, is it?"
-Cloud: "Not yet! Quick! The shockwave will be passing through this space at any minute! I assure you that we don't want to be here when it does!"
-Squall: "But what about all that's happened? Is it still valid?"
-Cloud: "I'm not sure. I think our actions and our killings will be erased, but I can't be sure! But don't worry about that now, we've got to find a rift!"
-Squall: "Are you crazy!? If we jump into a rift, then we'll be lost just like Sephiroth!"
-Cloud: "It's the only way Squall! Either that or be destroyed by a blast of unimaginable force!"
(Cloud grabs Squall and they make their way over to one of the few rifts that hasn't healed yet.)
(They both stand on the brink and prepare to jump in.)
-Cloud: "Just try to lock on to a particular time and place! Remember someone you care about and try to go to that person! Can you do that?"
-Squall: "Yeah, I think so. I know who I'll lock onto! I'll try to go our promised place! We promised we'd be there for each other!"
-Cloud (giving Squall a strange look): "Yeah...ummmm....me too. Anyway, just don't get lost in the rift; you might never get back out."
-Squall: "Sure thing. Are you ready?"
-Cloud: "Yeah, I'm set. Good-luck Squall."
-Squall: "Good-luck Cloud. Maybe we'll see each other again some day."
-Cloud: "Maybe we'll fight alongside each other again before we die."
-Squall: "For sure. Until then!"
-Cloud: "Until then!"
(The pair take one last look downward and throw themselves into the dimensional rip.)
(Approximately 2.31 seconds later a wave of cosmic destruction annihilates everything in that entire universe.)
...And so ends the Final Fantasy Deathmatch 2000.
The deadly effects of Neo-Sephiroth's sadistic tournament were eradicated and all universes involved returned to normal.
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As you already know, Squall did eventually find his way back home and was reunited with Rinoa and his friends. He kept his memories of all that had happened, just like Cloud and Sephiroth, but he always kept them to himself. |
Cloud....well, he eventually found his way back home too, but his tale is just a little bit more complicated.
It involves lots of danger, lots of evil, many more heroic actions, and a reunion between two friends who thought they'd never see each other again.
Maybe one day this tale will also be told... |
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...And as for Sephiroth, he is presumed dead...but who knows?
The rift was a gateway into an unimaginable number of times and places. If he didn't die, then I suppose he could be...just about anywhere. |
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